240: When You’re in Conflict – How to Find Optimal Outcomes – with Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler

240: When You’re in Conflict – How to Find Optimal Outcomes – with Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler

When you’re stuck in conflict, how do you step outside of the situation enough to identify ways to break the patterns that are keeping you stuck? Especially in ongoing conflict, just doing more of the same isn’t going to change your outcome. Our guest is Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, author of Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life. We’ll talk about practical, effective strategies you can use to escape the conflict loop – and, thus, get different results!

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239: How to Avoid the Negative Bypass

239: How to Avoid the Negative Bypass

Do you ever feel like you *should* have gotten over something challenging – that you’ve grown, and learned from the experience, but that on some level it still haunts you? Or do you feel inner conflict around decisions that seem like they should be relatively clear-cut? Are you afraid of failure? It could very well be that you have bypassed or suppressed your negative emotions, and that they’re now stuck inside you, wreaking havoc on your inner guidance system. By not facing failures or challenges head on, we actually create an emotional dissonance within ourselves that’s an obstacle to moving forward. Today we’ll talk about how to face things when they’re not quite the way you want them to be – and how to develop the inner honesty that will help you feel aligned and courageous no matter what’s happening in your life.

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238: Unmotivated Partners – What To Do? – with Pete Pearson

238: Unmotivated Partners – What To Do? – with Pete Pearson

When your partner is unmotivated to change and has resorted to stonewalling – or blaming everything on you – what can you do? If you’re a therapist working with a couple in this situation, you’ll learn some valuable ways to directly address this issue and change the dynamics. In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Peter Pearson. He is a co-founder, with Ellyn Bader, of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues.

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237: Overcoming Procrastination – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

237: Overcoming Procrastination – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

Do you ever procrastinate? If you’re looking for a way to finally stop putting things off – and get them done – then today’s episode is for you. As a follow-up to a session with me on being overwhelmed, David Burns has returned for a session to help me with my own procrastination. You’ll get to hear what works, what doesn’t, and – if you’re a therapist or coach – how to help other people with their procrastination. David Burns…

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236: When Talking about How You Feel Goes Horribly Wrong

236: When Talking about How You Feel Goes Horribly Wrong

How do you talk about your feelings – without your partner getting reactive and defensive? There are some common mistakes that we make when talking about our feelings that can lead to it going horribly wrong. In today’s episode, we’ll cover ways that you can adjust how you talk about your feelings so that you’ll be most likely to stay connected – even if you’re bringing up some hard stuff. And you’ll learn what to do if you notice your partner making these mistakes as well when they talk about their feelings with you.

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235: Microaggressions in Life and Love with Kevin Nadal

235: Microaggressions in Life and Love with Kevin Nadal

Are you undermining your connection with your partner, or the others in your life, with microaggressions? While the “little things” can be the building blocks of something amazing – they can also undermine the very fabric of how you relate with another person, perpetuating sexism, racism, or other unhealthy power dynamics. Today our guest is Kevin Nadal, co-editor of Microaggression Theory: Influence and Implications. He is one of the world’s foremost experts on how to spot microaggressions and overcome their impact in your life.

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234: The Anti-Relationship Episode

234: The Anti-Relationship Episode

WARNING: If you’re looking for the typical hope and optimism that you can find on Relationship Alive, then this might not be the episode for you! After 233 episodes focused on how to have an amazing relationship, it feels like it’s time to ask the obvious question: Why? Let’s turn things on their head for a moment. Perhaps getting into a relationship is actually a bad idea! In this week’s episode, I give myself permission to be a little jaded and cynical, and to talk about many of the ways that relationships can actually suck. And what you just might want to do instead. If you’re willing journey with me through the looking glass, there just might be something important revealed on the other side.

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233: What Makes a Marriage Last – with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue

233: What Makes a Marriage Last – with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue

Let’s put the theory aside for a minute. When it comes to having a successful, long-lasting relationship, what has actually worked for couples whose relationships have stood the test of time? In order to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary, Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue interviewed 40 famous couples in successful relationships, to discover the actual rubber-meets-the-road strategies that they use to navigate life’s challenges.

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232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

In a relationship, it’s important to be able to accept your partner as they are. What if accepting your partner traps you in a relationship that isn’t healthy? What’s the balance between accepting your relationship as it is – and wanting to shift things without trying to turn your partner into someone different than who they are? If you value growth, and compassion…you can actually find yourself stuck in a bad relationship because of it! In today’s episode, we’re going to try to solve the “acceptance paradox” so that you can stay aligned with your values and still make a change.

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231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships  (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the decisions that you make. So, when it comes to love – is there a way to make better choices and to identify your blind spots, to improve your chances of a long-lasting, thriving connection? Today’s guest, Logan Ury, is a Behavioral Scientist and author of the forthcoming book “How to Not Die Alone.” Along with being the Director of Relationship Science for the online dating app Hinge, Logan has done in-depth research into why we make the choices we make when it comes to love – and how to steer yourself towards the outcome most aligned with what you value and desire. Whether you’re single and looking, already in a relationship, or trying to decide whether to stay or go – today’s episode will help you get clear on the choices you’re facing.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Just discovered!
    August 7, 2020 by Hessboogie from United States

    Recently discovered this podcast after a tough conversation with my partner. I realized that I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and hoping to start the work. This podcast provides good tips and insight. Will continue listening!

  • Love this podcast!
    July 2, 2020 by orit.krug from United States

    Neil keeps it real in a way that’s inspiring and massively helpful, and at the same time... he helps us feel normal and hopeful that we are not alone in our relationship struggles. I so appreciate him sharing his own relatable stories that feel SO supportive to my own relationship growth!

  • Awesome Podcast!!!
    April 7, 2020 by Clarisse Gomez from United States

    Neil, host of the Relationship Alive! podcast, highlight all aspects of relationships, marriage and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!

  • Love this pod!
    February 28, 2020 by Charlotte in Seattle from United States

    Such a gem of a podcast. Neil has such an empathic and soothing style that makes me think not just about my relationships, but also myself as an individual. The guests are high profile from psychology and relationship circles. When I’m upset about life, I turn on this pod and find solace with Niel and his wonderfully knowledgeable interviewees. It has helped me become a more vulnerable, loving, and considerate person, not only to others but myself as well.

  • Episode 213
    February 21, 2020 by Cory1388 from United States

    This episode is down right amazing. As I listened to it I reflected on my life and wow did I see how I was that person that would go straight into my defense and blame others for my own stuff. Thank you for all that you do and helping everyone out there with relational well being.