Conflict in relationship is often viewed as a bad thing. It’s uncomfortable. It’s tense. It makes us feel bad, and often makes our partners feel bad too. But what if you’re missing out on an opportunity? Like two tectonic plates rubbing against each other, two people butting heads in relationship might be just the moment where something new forms within that relationship. And within you. That’s the view of this week’s guest, Viola Neufeld. She’s a coach, educator, therapist and facilitator, and she works to help those stuck in conflict to work through their difficult conversations to a place of profound inner transformation. Viola is also the author of “Grateful For The Fight: Using inner conflict to transform yourself and your relationships.”
It’s easy to talk about “Self Care” – to pay lip service to it – but what does it really mean to take care of yourself? In today’s episode, we’re going to get back to basics to ensure that you’re actually nourishing the most important person in your world – you! Because if you’re not, then how are you going to show up for the people around you? By the end, you'll have a sense of exactly what's essential for keeping you at your best.
There are ways to communicate that keep you stuck, or that make things worse – and there are ways to communicate that foster the healthy development of your relationship. So how do you avoid the pitfalls, and reconnect with each other in spite of your differences? Or even in appreciation of your differences? In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. They are co-founders of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues. Their book “Tell Me No Lies” describes how to create a culture of honesty in your relationship (and why that’s so important) – while their work on the Developmental Model of relationships gives deep insight into why we do what we do. Today we’ll get theoretical, we’ll get practical, and you’ll walk away with some new ways to communicate about challenging topics in ways that encourage the healthy development of your relationship.
In what ways are you being controlled by your partner? In what ways are you controlling them? How does it help you? And how does it hurt you? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive deep on this issue of control, and see if we just can’t dismantle the ways that it’s holding you back in your relationship. By the end, you’ll see exactly what structures of control you’ve put into place in your relationship, understand why they’re there, and have a path towards greater freedom to be yourself in your relationship.
Is it possible to be a spiritual being in a human body? Transcendent, yet grounded? And why is that so many “spiritual leaders” tell us to leave our feelings behind? How is it possible to be truly connected to another person – including on the spiritual level? To get to the heart, body, and soul of these questions, we’re having a return visit from Jeff Brown, author of the recently released book “Grounded Spirituality”. Jeff’s work is focused on connecting you to your precious, unique divinity – in a way that’s practical, connected, and…real. Or as Jeff Brown might say…enrealed.
Can people really change? And how do you know if someone *will* change? It’s a good question, especially if you’re dealing with some significant challenges in your relationship. You might be wondering about your partner – or you might be wondering about your own ability to do things differently, especially if you feel stuck in a rut. In this episode, we’ll tackle how change works. What are the requirements for creating changes that actually stick? What’s realistic when it comes to the pace of change? And how can you tell if someone else is truly going to do what it takes for change to happen?
When looking to change things in your world, how do you let pleasure be the force that guides you? How do you fulfill desire while you fight for change? How do you take care of yourself while you transform? And how do you allow organic, sustainable change to emerge in your life – without feeling like you have to force things? Today we’re speaking with author, activist, and healer adrienne maree brown. Her most recent book, the New York Times bestseller “Pleasure Activism”, leans into black feminist traditions to challenge you to rethink the groundrules of how to facilitate change in your own life.
When things get challenging in your relationship, what’s the best way to ensure that you and your partner can make it through? How do you avoid the losing strategies that come naturally in a moment of crisis – and, instead, choose ways of dealing that are more likely to lead to a positive outcome? Whether it’s something small, or something that feels more apocalyptic, this week we’ll talk about how to weather the storm successfully, with strategies that will help you navigate a painful moment without doing something destructive.
How would you know if there were experiences from the earliest moments of your life affecting you here and now? And if you are indeed being impacted by the distant past – what can you do to heal those early traumas so that you’re more free and connected in your current life? Our guest today is Peter Levine, creator of Somatic Experiencing, and author of many bestselling books on healing trauma – “Waking the Tiger”, “In an Unspoken Voice”, and “Trauma and Memory” – just to name a few! Today you’ll learn how to recognize the signs of these deep emotions, and what to do to regulate them, as well as how to help our co-regulate with your partner, to build a stronger, more resilient foundation for your relationship (and within yourself).
Do you want one surefire way to know if the way you’re interacting with your partner is something that they’re into? Get their consent! Is there a place for getting consent even in a long-term relationship where you’re pretty sure you know what your partner wants (and doesn’t want)? Absolutely! It turns out that getting consent is a pathway to deeper intimacy and presence – for ALL relationships. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to re-introduce the language of consent into your relationship in a way that’s empowering for both you and your partner, and you’ll discover exactly why your “no” creates even more relationship health than your “yes”. Along the way, you’ll strengthen the trust and fuel the passion in your connection.
I love almost all of the podcasts!! My only complaint is when he switched to putting his adds in the middle of everything after you’re engaged, tends to throw me off! Not sure about everyone else?
Not a Substitute for Therapy but Pretty Dang Close
July 4, 2019 by FreeziePop from United States
As a therapist myself, I use this as supplemental to my partner’s and my couple’s counseling with positive outcomes. Well produced show with extremely knowledgeable and well known/renowned guests (in the mental health field).
July 1, 2019 by Brandon MS from United States
Neil is a gifted interviewer who brings information that is helpful for laypeople as well as professionals. I am a marriage and family therapist, as a busy mom and clinician I have found this podcast extremely helpful in pointing me toward what I want to invest time reading more about. I often forward podcasts to my clients to have them listen as well. Thank you Neil!
Great and helpful interviews
June 18, 2019 by Lazercats from United States
Neil has a great interview style and has interesting and knowledgeable people on his show. Very helpful for my relationships.
Extremely professional interviewing style that lets the podcast guests shine and makes for informative, easy to absorb and learn from episodes. An excellent array of guests! Thank you for such a great resource!