163: A Surprising Way to Create More Generosity in Your Relationship – with Neil Sattin

163: A Surprising Way to Create More Generosity in Your Relationship – with Neil Sattin

One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is the level of generosity that’s taking place in it. Today we’re going to uncover one of the biggest obstacles to fostering generosity in your relationships – and…it’s probably not what you think! After today’s episode, you’ll have new ways to amplify the love and generosity – not only in your primary relationship, but in ALL your relationships. Are there places where you’re holding back? Not after today’s episode!

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162: Pleasure, Touch, and The Wheel of Consent – with Betty Martin

162: Pleasure, Touch, and The Wheel of Consent – with Betty Martin

Would you like to open up your ability to experience pleasure? And to not only increase your capacity for pleasure, but to also ensure that everything you do is consensual? In today’s episode, Betty Martin, the creator of the Wheel of Consent, explains the four different dimensions of touching (and being touched) – and how to expand erotic energy in a consent-based context. You’ll learn how to experience these flavors of touch in new ways, and how to ask for consent in ways that still keep things deeply connected, and passionate. While getting consent is important in all of your relationships – you’ll discover how to foster consent with your partner in ways that help you uncover exactly what each of you wants in any given moment – and unlock the keys to pleasure no matter what kind of touch you’re experiencing.

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161: A Crucial Key for Building Trust in Your Relationship

161: A Crucial Key for Building Trust in Your Relationship

How do you build trust in your relationship? There’s a crucial element to creating trust, and it has nothing to do with your partner. It has everything to do with you! Most importantly, there are some ways that you might actually be undermining the trust in your relationship – without even knowing it. In today’s episode, you’ll learn two important questions to ask yourself that can reveal hidden obstacles to trust, and you’ll have a sense of how to make the shift so that you can get out of your own way when it comes to building the trust in your relationship. This episode is short and sweet – but it will give you a sense of exactly where you might need to do a little growing to uplevel your connection.

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160: The Four Noble Truths of Love and Relationship – with Susan Piver

160: The Four Noble Truths of Love and Relationship – with Susan Piver

How do you apply ancient Buddhist wisdom to your relationship in a way that helps you connect with your partner? How do you build the intimacy even if you’re not feeling the love? One day, as Susan Piver was experiencing what felt like an unsolvable problem in her relationship, she heard a voice say “Begin at the beginning – the four noble truths”. And much like the four noble truths of the Buddha, which identify the cause of suffering (and the cure), Susan Piver’s new book The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships can help you identify not only why relationships can be challenging – but also what to do about it. Along the way, you’ll also learn some powerful strategies for getting centered, finding your own sense of balance, and building the strength and resilience of your relationship – despite all the complexities.

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159: What Is a Realistic Expectation for Change in Your Relationship?

159: What Is a Realistic Expectation for Change in Your Relationship?

What’s realistic to expect in terms of things improving between you and your partner? When you’re trying to change something in yourself? Or when you’re hoping your partner will change? Once you’ve identified a place where you want things to be different (or see those things all around you), you can sometimes feel an overwhelming sense of urgency. How will all this get done? Can’t it all just be fixed – NOW? This week we’re going to continue the process we started in Episode 157, where we took stock of our relationship – identifying the things we want to celebrate and also the things that we’d like to improve. Today you’ll discover a simple process that will help you relax, prioritize, and know exactly what the next right thing to do is in terms of improving the way things are.

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158: Loving Completely – Integrating Science, Heart, and Spirit – with Keith Witt

158: Loving Completely – Integrating Science, Heart, and Spirit – with Keith Witt

Do you ever feel like there’s a barrier between what you know about how to have a good relationship, and what you actually do? How do you take what we know about the science of relationships, combine it with the wisdom of our hearts and our quest for deeper meaning, and integrate it into something practical? Today we’re going to get practical, integrated, and Integral with a return visit from Keith Witt, whose new book Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice for Creating Great Relationships was just released. Keith Witt has conducted more than 55,000 (!!) therapy sessions, and is also often featured on Jeff Salzman’s The Daily Evolver podcast. He is truly gifted at taking the “big picture” and making it useful for a daily lives. Loving Completely is a manual for how to not only set a higher standard for what’s possible in your relationship, but you also get simple steps that get you there.

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157: Celebrating and Taking Stock

157: Celebrating and Taking Stock

Do you ever feel like you’ll never quite reach your ideal in your relationship? And does it bring you down? How do you take stock of how things are going in a way that helps you not only improve things, but also identify what your strengths are – what needs celebrating? On today’s episode, you’ll learn a simple process for assessing things in your relationship – and how to celebrate the things that are celebration-worthy. And you’ll uncover a way to hold your ideal vision without it becoming something that teases you by being continually out of reach. How do you hold your ideal, while celebrating along the way? That’s what’s up in this week’s episode of Relationship Alive – which also happens to mark the 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the podcast.

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156: Rethinking Narcissism and Its Impact on Your Relationship – with Craig Malkin

156: Rethinking Narcissism and Its Impact on Your Relationship – with Craig Malkin

Do you suspect that you someone you love might be a narcissist? Or have you been told that you might be a narcissist? What can you do to bring a narcissist (or your own narcissistic tendencies) back into balance? What is the difference between healthy self-esteem and narcissism? Today we’re talking to Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists, and one of the world’s leading experts on how to heal when narcissism impacts you. Our conversation will teach you how to recognize true narcissism and what do do about it. You’ll also learn why a certain amount of narcissism is good for you and your relationship. And if you’re on the opposite end of the scale, an “echoist” in relationship with a narcissist, you’ll discover how to safely reclaim your own voice, without necessarily blowing up your connection.

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155: How to Communicate about Something You’ve Been Avoiding

155: How to Communicate about Something You’ve Been Avoiding

You know those things in your relationship that you don’t talk about? Over time, they will drain the energy, passion, and vitality from your connection. In today’s episode, I’ll walk you through the process of how (and why) to communicate about the things that you avoid – to give you the best chance of finally resolving those things and moving on. You can tackle something big first, or you can start with something smaller and build on your success. Either way, my goal for you is to be able to collaborate with your partner on getting through the challenging conversations – so that you can have more energy for connection and growing your relationship.

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154: What’s Different and What’s Universal – Gay Male Relationships – with Rick Miller

154: What’s Different and What’s Universal – Gay Male Relationships – with Rick Miller

If you’re in a same-sex relationship, do the rules change? Or are there universal principles of relationship that foster intimacy and passion no matter what kind of relationship you’re in? Today’s guest is Rick Miller, author of Mindfulness Tools for Gay Men in Therapy and Unwrapped: Integrative Therapy with Gay Men. Rick Miller has also been featured at the Couples Conference, and is on the faculty for Esther Perel’s Sessions Live 2018. Rick and I chat about the unique challenges faced by same-sex couples, particularly gay men in relationship. How do you address the uniqueness, while at the same time staying true to what we know about what works in relationships? In this far-ranging conversation, we cover the particulars as well as what we can all learn from how to have a successful same-sex relationship.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Very relevant and valuable but...
    September 11, 2018 by conan2280 from United States

    This podcast was recommended to me by my therapist. So far, I really like what I’ve heard and the topics have been very helpful to me. The one criticism I have and why I’m giving the podcast 4 stars is the occasional profanity requiring I have to allow explicit in my iPhone restrictions. I know many are ok with profanity and it makes it “real” for them, but for me, it is abrasive to the ears and I wouldn’t expect it in a great podcast like this.

  • Amazing relationship help!
    August 6, 2018 by Neos lawn care from United States

    I’ve been listening to this podcast for over a year now. Neil stays current and offers some of the best guests and topics I’ve come across. Very helpful and applies to what I’ve been looking for! Thanks Neil 💗 you’ve helped my relationship in many ways!

  • It’s been a worthwhile journey
    July 31, 2018 by Scarfgirl from United States

    I subscribed to this podcast while I was trying to fix my broken marriage, but only really started listening during my divorce. So I haven’t been in a romantic relationship for most of the time that I have listened to this podcast, but it’s been a real pleasure to be exposed to so many researchers and authors I would not have otherwise found and their knowledge as well. This podcast has improved my relationship with myself, my kids, my family and my friends. It has also kept me aware of what is possible in a *good*/amazing/fully committed relationship during what could be a time of contraction and despair. I always learn something here, and I really relish the opportunity to bring this learning into *so* many different areas of my life, perhaps most of all my relationship to myself. I feel like I’m a walking testament to the power of this podcast and the transferable skills and knowledge Neil and Chloe bring to light. I don’t know if I will ever be in a romantic relationship again, but if I am, I feel very confident that I will bring more capacity for joy, presence, good communication, possibility and growth than I did at other times in my life; I have Neil to thank, in part, for that. So thanks Neil & keep it coming - I am listening!

  • The Best Podcast on Relationships
    July 24, 2018 by Elizak1 from United States

    This podcast was one of the first podcasts I began listening to and it's the reason I'm now a podcast addict! Some podcasts you listen to for a couple weeks or a month and than it gets old - this is not one of those podcasts! This podcast is fresh and new and ALIVE every time. Neil goes deeper than most podcasters are willing to go and, as a result, this podcast will take you deeper than you could imagine. Neil is one of the best interviewers I've ever listened to. This podcast transformed my life and my relationship. Thank you Neil!

  • Oops I think I review this one on accident BUT
    May 29, 2018 by monicajacobsiam from United States

    Please know I looooove your podcast !!!!