171: Does your need to feel special keep you from connecting?

171: Does your need to feel special keep you from connecting?

We all want to be special, right? Being special, or important, the need to feel significant, is universal. But is it possible that your need to be special is getting in the way of your ability to connect, to give and receive love? Or does your partner value significance more than connection – keeping you from connecting with them? This week we’re going to dive into the paradox, the conflict, between the need for significance and the need for connection – so that you can discover how to have both.

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170:  Embodying Well-Being and the Lover Within: Zapchen – with Julie Henderson

170: Embodying Well-Being and the Lover Within: Zapchen – with Julie Henderson

How can you bring a new level of presence to your relationship? And what if this new level of presence could also help you find a sense of well-being in any moment? And how can you make sure you’re being yourself – instead of trying to be what somebody else wants you to be? This week, our guest is Julie Henderson, author of The Lover Within and Embodying Well-Being, and the creator of Zapchen Somatics. Zapchen is a Tibetan word that suggests something naughty, or improper – and for Julie Henderson it’s a practice of how sometimes things that are unexpectedly simple can have profound results. The practices and principles of Zapchen Somatics are a direct approach to embodying well-being, which Julie refers to as “feeling as good as you can…in spite of everything.”

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169: Choose Intimacy Over Fear – Core Relationship Principles #4 – with Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin

169: Choose Intimacy Over Fear – Core Relationship Principles #4 – with Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin

How do you prevent fear from getting in the way of your connection? Sometimes your fears are obvious – other times they’re more subtle – but no matter what they can potentially drive a wedge between you and your partner. In the fourth episode of our “Core Relationship Principles” series, Chloe Urban and I show you exactly how to choose intimacy over fear, how to deal with the natural fears that arise, and how to identify your patterns so you can be aware enough to determine whether you’re choosing intimacy or fear in your relationship. After listening to this episode, you’ll have some solid strategies for moving past fear and embracing intimacy in your relationship even when it’s scary. And you’ll also get to hear us navigate a triggered moment during the episode itself! Can you find where it is?

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168: Practical Skills for Building Your Emotional Intelligence with Jordan Harbinger

168: Practical Skills for Building Your Emotional Intelligence with Jordan Harbinger

How does your emotional intelligence help you develop a relationship with someone? Is your emotional intelligence something you can improve? And…what are the kinds of things that you should steer away from because they undermine the ways that you’re relating to the people around you, and the one you love? This week, our guest is Jordan Harbinger. Often referred to as “The Larry King of podcasting,” Jordan is a Wall Street lawyer turned interview talk show host, and communications & social dynamics expert. On The Jordan Harbinger Show, Jordan deconstructs the playbooks of the most successful people on earth and shares their strategies, perspectives, and practical insights with the rest of us. In this episode, you’ll learn what emotional intelligence is and how you can improve it to have a positive impact on your relationships. We’ll also dive into how you can improve your self-awareness which is something that can be a challenge for anyone.

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167: How to Keep Assumptions from Eroding Your Relationship

167: How to Keep Assumptions from Eroding Your Relationship

Have you ever found yourself making assumptions about how your partner will take care of you or show up for you? Do you assume they’ll do certain things that make your life easier even though they haven’t actually agreed to do that? Have you ever felt resentful toward your partner for not following through on what you assumed they would do for you? If so, you’re not alone! In today’s episode, we’ll discover how these assumptions can lead to resentment and learned helplessness. We’re going to dive into some specific actions you can take to prevent this from happening in your relationship.

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166: Are You Addicted to Love and Relationships? – with Sherry Gaba

166: Are You Addicted to Love and Relationships? – with Sherry Gaba

Have you ever felt compelled to jump into a new relationship a little too quickly? Is it possible that you’re actually addicted to love and relationships? How would you know? This week, our guest is Sherry Gaba, best-selling author of <em>The Marriage and Relationship Junkie</em> and <em>The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery.</em> Sherry is a Psychotherapist, Life Coach, and Certified Recovery Coach specializing in individual, couples, family, and group psychotherapy – and she is also the editor of <em>Recovery Today</em> magazine. In this episode, you’ll learn what it means to be addicted to love and relationships and where it comes from. We’ll also dive into how you can tell if you’re addicted to love and relationships and what you can do to start on your path toward healthier relationships and connection.

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165: Should You Start Over with Someone New?

165: Should You Start Over with Someone New?

When is it time to start over with someone new? Isn’t your next relationship going to be better, simply because you’ve learned what to look for in a new partner? If you’re considering ending your current relationship, how do you know you’re making the right decision? Do you think you’ve tried it all to make things work? How do you know if you’ve truly “tried everything”? In today’s episode, we’ll explore how to make these important decisions, so that whatever you choose you can do it confidently. And like you might expect, the answer to those questions isn’t quite as obvious as you might think.

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164: How Love Can Dissolve Conflict – Relationship Magic with Guy Finley

164: How Love Can Dissolve Conflict – Relationship Magic with Guy Finley

They say that love can conquer all – but how do you really tap into “the power of love” to resolve conflicts in your relationship? On top of that, how do you learn what you need to learn so that you don’t keep repeating the same fights over and over again in your relationship? This week, our guest is Guy Finley, author of the new book Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together and the international bestseller The Secret of Letting Go. Along with getting juicy tidbits of Guy’s wisdom in a deep dive, we’re also going to walk through the process of transformation, so you can experience for yourself how to make the shift from conflict to love as you listen.  

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163: A Surprising Way to Create More Generosity in Your Relationship – with Neil Sattin

163: A Surprising Way to Create More Generosity in Your Relationship – with Neil Sattin

One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is the level of generosity that’s taking place in it. Today we’re going to uncover one of the biggest obstacles to fostering generosity in your relationships – and…it’s probably not what you think! After today’s episode, you’ll have new ways to amplify the love and generosity – not only in your primary relationship, but in ALL your relationships. Are there places where you’re holding back? Not after today’s episode!

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162: Pleasure, Touch, and The Wheel of Consent – with Betty Martin

162: Pleasure, Touch, and The Wheel of Consent – with Betty Martin

Would you like to open up your ability to experience pleasure? And to not only increase your capacity for pleasure, but to also ensure that everything you do is consensual? In today’s episode, Betty Martin, the creator of the Wheel of Consent, explains the four different dimensions of touching (and being touched) – and how to expand erotic energy in a consent-based context. You’ll learn how to experience these flavors of touch in new ways, and how to ask for consent in ways that still keep things deeply connected, and passionate. While getting consent is important in all of your relationships – you’ll discover how to foster consent with your partner in ways that help you uncover exactly what each of you wants in any given moment – and unlock the keys to pleasure no matter what kind of touch you’re experiencing.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Very relevant and valuable but...
    September 11, 2018 by conan2280 from United States

    This podcast was recommended to me by my therapist. So far, I really like what I’ve heard and the topics have been very helpful to me. The one criticism I have and why I’m giving the podcast 4 stars is the occasional profanity requiring I have to allow explicit in my iPhone restrictions. I know many are ok with profanity and it makes it “real” for them, but for me, it is abrasive to the ears and I wouldn’t expect it in a great podcast like this.

  • Amazing relationship help!
    August 6, 2018 by Neos lawn care from United States

    I’ve been listening to this podcast for over a year now. Neil stays current and offers some of the best guests and topics I’ve come across. Very helpful and applies to what I’ve been looking for! Thanks Neil 💗 you’ve helped my relationship in many ways!

  • It’s been a worthwhile journey
    July 31, 2018 by Scarfgirl from United States

    I subscribed to this podcast while I was trying to fix my broken marriage, but only really started listening during my divorce. So I haven’t been in a romantic relationship for most of the time that I have listened to this podcast, but it’s been a real pleasure to be exposed to so many researchers and authors I would not have otherwise found and their knowledge as well. This podcast has improved my relationship with myself, my kids, my family and my friends. It has also kept me aware of what is possible in a *good*/amazing/fully committed relationship during what could be a time of contraction and despair. I always learn something here, and I really relish the opportunity to bring this learning into *so* many different areas of my life, perhaps most of all my relationship to myself. I feel like I’m a walking testament to the power of this podcast and the transferable skills and knowledge Neil and Chloe bring to light. I don’t know if I will ever be in a romantic relationship again, but if I am, I feel very confident that I will bring more capacity for joy, presence, good communication, possibility and growth than I did at other times in my life; I have Neil to thank, in part, for that. So thanks Neil & keep it coming - I am listening!

  • The Best Podcast on Relationships
    July 24, 2018 by Elizak1 from United States

    This podcast was one of the first podcasts I began listening to and it's the reason I'm now a podcast addict! Some podcasts you listen to for a couple weeks or a month and than it gets old - this is not one of those podcasts! This podcast is fresh and new and ALIVE every time. Neil goes deeper than most podcasters are willing to go and, as a result, this podcast will take you deeper than you could imagine. Neil is one of the best interviewers I've ever listened to. This podcast transformed my life and my relationship. Thank you Neil!

  • Oops I think I review this one on accident BUT
    May 29, 2018 by monicajacobsiam from United States

    Please know I looooove your podcast !!!!