236: When Talking about How You Feel Goes Horribly Wrong

236: When Talking about How You Feel Goes Horribly Wrong

How do you talk about your feelings – without your partner getting reactive and defensive? There are some common mistakes that we make when talking about our feelings that can lead to it going horribly wrong. In today’s episode, we’ll cover ways that you can adjust how you talk about your feelings so that you’ll be most likely to stay connected – even if you’re bringing up some hard stuff. And you’ll learn what to do if you notice your partner making these mistakes as well when they talk about their feelings with you.

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235: Microaggressions in Life and Love with Kevin Nadal

235: Microaggressions in Life and Love with Kevin Nadal

Are you undermining your connection with your partner, or the others in your life, with microaggressions? While the “little things” can be the building blocks of something amazing – they can also undermine the very fabric of how you relate with another person, perpetuating sexism, racism, or other unhealthy power dynamics. Today our guest is Kevin Nadal, co-editor of Microaggression Theory: Influence and Implications. He is one of the world’s foremost experts on how to spot microaggressions and overcome their impact in your life.

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234: The Anti-Relationship Episode

234: The Anti-Relationship Episode

WARNING: If you’re looking for the typical hope and optimism that you can find on Relationship Alive, then this might not be the episode for you! After 233 episodes focused on how to have an amazing relationship, it feels like it’s time to ask the obvious question: Why? Let’s turn things on their head for a moment. Perhaps getting into a relationship is actually a bad idea! In this week’s episode, I give myself permission to be a little jaded and cynical, and to talk about many of the ways that relationships can actually suck. And what you just might want to do instead. If you’re willing journey with me through the looking glass, there just might be something important revealed on the other side.

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233: What Makes a Marriage Last – with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue

233: What Makes a Marriage Last – with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue

Let’s put the theory aside for a minute. When it comes to having a successful, long-lasting relationship, what has actually worked for couples whose relationships have stood the test of time? In order to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary, Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue interviewed 40 famous couples in successful relationships, to discover the actual rubber-meets-the-road strategies that they use to navigate life’s challenges.

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232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

In a relationship, it’s important to be able to accept your partner as they are. What if accepting your partner traps you in a relationship that isn’t healthy? What’s the balance between accepting your relationship as it is – and wanting to shift things without trying to turn your partner into someone different than who they are? If you value growth, and compassion…you can actually find yourself stuck in a bad relationship because of it! In today’s episode, we’re going to try to solve the “acceptance paradox” so that you can stay aligned with your values and still make a change.

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231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships  (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the decisions that you make. So, when it comes to love – is there a way to make better choices and to identify your blind spots, to improve your chances of a long-lasting, thriving connection? Today’s guest, Logan Ury, is a Behavioral Scientist and author of the forthcoming book “How to Not Die Alone.” Along with being the Director of Relationship Science for the online dating app Hinge, Logan has done in-depth research into why we make the choices we make when it comes to love – and how to steer yourself towards the outcome most aligned with what you value and desire. Whether you’re single and looking, already in a relationship, or trying to decide whether to stay or go – today’s episode will help you get clear on the choices you’re facing.

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230: How to Win Any Argument

230: How to Win Any Argument

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In today’s world, it’s challenging to avoid conflicts – whether with our intimate partners, or simply with people at the grocery store or on social media. How do you take control of any fight so that you can create the best outcome? How do you resolve conflicts in a way that helps bring you closer to others, instead of widening the divide between you? In this week’s episode we’ll cover some important ways for you to steer arguments towards a place where you can “win” without suffering the costs of victory. Wondering what I mean? Come aboard with me in this week’s episode.

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229: Sexting for Fun and Connection

229: Sexting for Fun and Connection

Sexting – what is it? How do you do it? Why would you want to do it? And…most importantly…how do you ensure it goes well – and how do you keep it from going horribly wrong? Whether you have been with your partner for a long time – or are just getting to know someone – sexting can be a fun way to connect and expand the range of your intimacy with another person. There’s a lot of serious stuff going on in the world right now, so I thought we’d take a moment on the show to dive into something playful. Sexy texting (or messaging) can be a new (or improved) relationship-building skill for you to experiment with.

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228: Facing Overwhelm – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

228: Facing Overwhelm – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

If you’ve got big feelings going on – overwhelm, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger – how can you discover the valuable messages they contain, and then transform them rapidly into feeling good – or even great? In today’s episode, you’ll get to listen in as David Burns helps me bust through feelings of overwhelm – teaching me powerful techniques to dissolve negative thoughts. Along with getting an up-close and personal look at my inner world, you’ll also get to hear a master guide me through the process of silencing the inner chatter that gets in my way.

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227: Racism, Racial Equity, and Relationships – with Neil Sattin

227: Racism, Racial Equity, and Relationships – with Neil Sattin

How do we confront our blind spots and tackle the ways that racism and privilege affect our relationships, our lives, our society? And…our podcasts? This week’s episode is not meant to be a complete answer to those questions – just a beginning to the conversation. So today you’ll hear more about the “hidden agenda” of Relationship Alive – how what you’ve been learning is a crucial part of taking care of yourself as we change the world. And how racism has impacted my journey – and the evolution of the Relationship Alive podcast. Yes, let’s all be part of the solution. I can – and will – do better. It’s that important. #blacklivesmatter

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Podcast Reviews

  • Just discovered!
    August 7, 2020 by Hessboogie from United States

    Recently discovered this podcast after a tough conversation with my partner. I realized that I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and hoping to start the work. This podcast provides good tips and insight. Will continue listening!

  • Love this podcast!
    July 2, 2020 by orit.krug from United States

    Neil keeps it real in a way that’s inspiring and massively helpful, and at the same time... he helps us feel normal and hopeful that we are not alone in our relationship struggles. I so appreciate him sharing his own relatable stories that feel SO supportive to my own relationship growth!

  • Awesome Podcast!!!
    April 7, 2020 by Clarisse Gomez from United States

    Neil, host of the Relationship Alive! podcast, highlight all aspects of relationships, marriage and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!

  • Love this pod!
    February 28, 2020 by Charlotte in Seattle from United States

    Such a gem of a podcast. Neil has such an empathic and soothing style that makes me think not just about my relationships, but also myself as an individual. The guests are high profile from psychology and relationship circles. When I’m upset about life, I turn on this pod and find solace with Niel and his wonderfully knowledgeable interviewees. It has helped me become a more vulnerable, loving, and considerate person, not only to others but myself as well.

  • Episode 213
    February 21, 2020 by Cory1388 from United States

    This episode is down right amazing. As I listened to it I reflected on my life and wow did I see how I was that person that would go straight into my defense and blame others for my own stuff. Thank you for all that you do and helping everyone out there with relational well being.