When it comes to breaking up, is there a right way to do it? How long should it take for you to get over your ex? How do you know when it’s time to see someone new? How do you deal with the way that your ex is handling the breakup? In this week’s episode, we’re going to cover what’s “normal” in the breakup experience, and how to make sure that you focus on your grieving in a way that’s most likely to lead to growth – so you can avoid making the same mistakes in your next relationship.
When you’re stuck in conflict, how do you step outside of the situation enough to identify ways to break the patterns that are keeping you stuck? Especially in ongoing conflict, just doing more of the same isn’t going to change your outcome. Our guest is Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, author of Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life. We’ll talk about practical, effective strategies you can use to escape the conflict loop – and, thus, get different results!
Do you ever feel like you *should* have gotten over something challenging – that you’ve grown, and learned from the experience, but that on some level it still haunts you? Or do you feel inner conflict around decisions that seem like they should be relatively clear-cut? Are you afraid of failure? It could very well be that you have bypassed or suppressed your negative emotions, and that they’re now stuck inside you, wreaking havoc on your inner guidance system. By not facing failures or challenges head on, we actually create an emotional dissonance within ourselves that’s an obstacle to moving forward. Today we’ll talk about how to face things when they’re not quite the way you want them to be – and how to develop the inner honesty that will help you feel aligned and courageous no matter what’s happening in your life.
When your partner is unmotivated to change and has resorted to stonewalling – or blaming everything on you – what can you do? If you’re a therapist working with a couple in this situation, you’ll learn some valuable ways to directly address this issue and change the dynamics. In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Peter Pearson. He is a co-founder, with Ellyn Bader, of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues.
Do you ever procrastinate? If you’re looking for a way to finally stop putting things off – and get them done – then today’s episode is for you. As a follow-up to a session with me on being overwhelmed, David Burns has returned for a session to help me with my own procrastination. You’ll get to hear what works, what doesn’t, and – if you’re a therapist or coach – how to help other people with their procrastination. David Burns…
How do you talk about your feelings – without your partner getting reactive and defensive? There are some common mistakes that we make when talking about our feelings that can lead to it going horribly wrong. In today’s episode, we’ll cover ways that you can adjust how you talk about your feelings so that you’ll be most likely to stay connected – even if you’re bringing up some hard stuff. And you’ll learn what to do if you notice your partner making these mistakes as well when they talk about their feelings with you.
Are you undermining your connection with your partner, or the others in your life, with microaggressions? While the “little things” can be the building blocks of something amazing – they can also undermine the very fabric of how you relate with another person, perpetuating sexism, racism, or other unhealthy power dynamics. Today our guest is Kevin Nadal, co-editor of Microaggression Theory: Influence and Implications. He is one of the world’s foremost experts on how to spot microaggressions and overcome their impact in your life.
WARNING: If you’re looking for the typical hope and optimism that you can find on Relationship Alive, then this might not be the episode for you! After 233 episodes focused on how to have an amazing relationship, it feels like it’s time to ask the obvious question: Why? Let’s turn things on their head for a moment. Perhaps getting into a relationship is actually a bad idea! In this week’s episode, I give myself permission to be a little jaded and cynical, and to talk about many of the ways that relationships can actually suck. And what you just might want to do instead. If you’re willing journey with me through the looking glass, there just might be something important revealed on the other side.
Let’s put the theory aside for a minute. When it comes to having a successful, long-lasting relationship, what has actually worked for couples whose relationships have stood the test of time? In order to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary, Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue interviewed 40 famous couples in successful relationships, to discover the actual rubber-meets-the-road strategies that they use to navigate life’s challenges.
In a relationship, it’s important to be able to accept your partner as they are. What if accepting your partner traps you in a relationship that isn’t healthy? What’s the balance between accepting your relationship as it is – and wanting to shift things without trying to turn your partner into someone different than who they are? If you value growth, and compassion…you can actually find yourself stuck in a bad relationship because of it! In today’s episode, we’re going to try to solve the “acceptance paradox” so that you can stay aligned with your values and still make a change.
Excellent episode about Making Marriage Last. The chemistry between Marlo and Phil after all these years was palpable. Such wisdom and insight. I will listen to this episode again.
Let’s Dig Deep
November 10, 2020 by KDKay1 from United States
I have mentioned your podcast several times on my podcast Living Connected - NVC
I have taken so many notes on each episode. I find the things you say are so real and honest and true. Keep up the hard work. I feel your grief and you are not alone. I will continue sharing your podcast. You are that good!! I have learned and Evolved in so many ways Bc of you. Thank you. 🥰❤️
Soooo many juicy nuggets within these episodes!
September 5, 2020 by Gina Swire Self Love Expert from United Kingdom
Wow, I’ve listened to quite a few episodes and LOVE what I hear. Thank you for this wisdom. Much appreciated and helpful! 💖
August 7, 2020 by Hessboogie from United States
Recently discovered this podcast after a tough conversation with my partner. I realized that I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and hoping to start the work. This podcast provides good tips and insight. Will continue listening!
Love this podcast!
July 2, 2020 by orit.krug from United States
Neil keeps it real in a way that’s inspiring and massively helpful, and at the same time... he helps us feel normal and hopeful that we are not alone in our relationship struggles. I so appreciate him sharing his own relatable stories that feel SO supportive to my own relationship growth!