232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

232: Solving the Acceptance Paradox – with Neil Sattin

In a relationship, it’s important to be able to accept your partner as they are. What if accepting your partner traps you in a relationship that isn’t healthy? What’s the balance between accepting your relationship as it is – and wanting to shift things without trying to turn your partner into someone different than who they are? If you value growth, and compassion…you can actually find yourself stuck in a bad relationship because of it! In today’s episode, we’re going to try to solve the “acceptance paradox” so that you can stay aligned with your values and still make a change.

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231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships  (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

231: How to Make Better Decisions in Your Relationships (and Avoid Common Pitfalls) – with Logan Ury

The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the decisions that you make. So, when it comes to love – is there a way to make better choices and to identify your blind spots, to improve your chances of a long-lasting, thriving connection? Today’s guest, Logan Ury, is a Behavioral Scientist and author of the forthcoming book “How to Not Die Alone.” Along with being the Director of Relationship Science for the online dating app Hinge, Logan has done in-depth research into why we make the choices we make when it comes to love – and how to steer yourself towards the outcome most aligned with what you value and desire. Whether you’re single and looking, already in a relationship, or trying to decide whether to stay or go – today’s episode will help you get clear on the choices you’re facing.

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230: How to Win Any Argument

230: How to Win Any Argument

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In today’s world, it’s challenging to avoid conflicts – whether with our intimate partners, or simply with people at the grocery store or on social media. How do you take control of any fight so that you can create the best outcome? How do you resolve conflicts in a way that helps bring you closer to others, instead of widening the divide between you? In this week’s episode we’ll cover some important ways for you to steer arguments towards a place where you can “win” without suffering the costs of victory. Wondering what I mean? Come aboard with me in this week’s episode.

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229: Sexting for Fun and Connection

229: Sexting for Fun and Connection

Sexting – what is it? How do you do it? Why would you want to do it? And…most importantly…how do you ensure it goes well – and how do you keep it from going horribly wrong? Whether you have been with your partner for a long time – or are just getting to know someone – sexting can be a fun way to connect and expand the range of your intimacy with another person. There’s a lot of serious stuff going on in the world right now, so I thought we’d take a moment on the show to dive into something playful. Sexy texting (or messaging) can be a new (or improved) relationship-building skill for you to experiment with.

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228: Facing Overwhelm – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

228: Facing Overwhelm – Session with David Burns and Neil Sattin

If you’ve got big feelings going on – overwhelm, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger – how can you discover the valuable messages they contain, and then transform them rapidly into feeling good – or even great? In today’s episode, you’ll get to listen in as David Burns helps me bust through feelings of overwhelm – teaching me powerful techniques to dissolve negative thoughts. Along with getting an up-close and personal look at my inner world, you’ll also get to hear a master guide me through the process of silencing the inner chatter that gets in my way.

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227: Racism, Racial Equity, and Relationships – with Neil Sattin

227: Racism, Racial Equity, and Relationships – with Neil Sattin

How do we confront our blind spots and tackle the ways that racism and privilege affect our relationships, our lives, our society? And…our podcasts? This week’s episode is not meant to be a complete answer to those questions – just a beginning to the conversation. So today you’ll hear more about the “hidden agenda” of Relationship Alive – how what you’ve been learning is a crucial part of taking care of yourself as we change the world. And how racism has impacted my journey – and the evolution of the Relationship Alive podcast. Yes, let’s all be part of the solution. I can – and will – do better. It’s that important. #blacklivesmatter

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226: Feeling Good – What Matters and What Doesn’t – with David Burns

226: Feeling Good – What Matters and What Doesn’t – with David Burns

What can shift anxiety, depression, overwhelm, or simply feeling “down” – into feeling good, or even great? What are the hidden obstacles that get in the way? When it comes to improving your inner world, there are some things that consistently work. And there are other things that might help, but that aren’t nearly as effective. With more than 40 years of experience, Dr. David Burns, author of Feeling Good, returns to the show to reveal how his new “TEAM” approach helps you feel good – no matter what’s happening in your world.

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225: Overcoming Shame and Getting Real about Relationships

225: Overcoming Shame and Getting Real about Relationships

One of the biggest blocks to lasting intimacy is shame. Shame keeps us from being honest with ourselves, and our partners. And from truly owning what’s real for us – what we actually want. In today’s episode we’re going to cover some of the many ways that shame gets in the way – and we’ll also take a stand for what’s possible when we allow ourselves to get real – about what’s going right and what’s going wrong – in our lives. Let’s shine a light on the shadow – and free ourselves to be real with each other. And in the process we’ll free up all kinds of energy to get closer to what we truly desire.

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224: What Romance Novels Teach Us about Real-Life Love and Desire – with Mara Wells

224: What Romance Novels Teach Us about Real-Life Love and Desire – with Mara Wells

Life doesn’t always lead to Happily Ever After (or Happily For Now) – like a romance novel. However, romance novels tap into something deep in our heart and psyche – keeping us turning the pages to see just how it’s all going to unfold. You can use the lessons from fiction to craft your own personal love adventure. This week we’re talking to Mara Wells, author of Cold Nose, Warm Heart – about the craft of romance writing, to learn what fuels our real-life desires. You’ll avoid the mistakes that not only would destroy a good plot line – but that also would send a perfectly good relationship down the tubes. And you’ll get some ideas for how to keep the passion flowing when you’ve moved past seduction – to doing each other’s laundry.

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223: How to Boost Your Oxytocin for a Sense of Wellbeing – Even If You’re Solo – with Jessica Zager

223: How to Boost Your Oxytocin for a Sense of Wellbeing – Even If You’re Solo – with Jessica Zager

Sometimes you just need simple strategies to give yourself a boost. In today’s episode, we’re going to cover ways that you can increase your sense of wellbeing and connectedness – by harnessing your own biochemistry to foster oxytocin production. This can all be done solo – no partner required (though you can do them with a partner too). Our guest, Dr. Jessica Zager, is a Pelvic Health Physical Therapist, and one of only 5 physical therapists in the world with an AASECT certification in sex counseling. Along with these simple oxytocin-boosting strategies, you’ll also learn a bit about how pelvic floor physical therapy can help with pain during sex. It’s a lighthearted conversation full of practical ways to keep you feeling good, and connected, that you can use whenever…but especially during these times of social distancing.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Just discovered!
    August 7, 2020 by Hessboogie from United States

    Recently discovered this podcast after a tough conversation with my partner. I realized that I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and hoping to start the work. This podcast provides good tips and insight. Will continue listening!

  • Love this podcast!
    July 2, 2020 by orit.krug from United States

    Neil keeps it real in a way that’s inspiring and massively helpful, and at the same time... he helps us feel normal and hopeful that we are not alone in our relationship struggles. I so appreciate him sharing his own relatable stories that feel SO supportive to my own relationship growth!

  • Awesome Podcast!!!
    April 7, 2020 by Clarisse Gomez from United States

    Neil, host of the Relationship Alive! podcast, highlight all aspects of relationships, marriage and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!

  • Love this pod!
    February 28, 2020 by Charlotte in Seattle from United States

    Such a gem of a podcast. Neil has such an empathic and soothing style that makes me think not just about my relationships, but also myself as an individual. The guests are high profile from psychology and relationship circles. When I’m upset about life, I turn on this pod and find solace with Niel and his wonderfully knowledgeable interviewees. It has helped me become a more vulnerable, loving, and considerate person, not only to others but myself as well.

  • Episode 213
    February 21, 2020 by Cory1388 from United States

    This episode is down right amazing. As I listened to it I reflected on my life and wow did I see how I was that person that would go straight into my defense and blame others for my own stuff. Thank you for all that you do and helping everyone out there with relational well being.