183: Real-Life Skills for Getting the Love You Want – with Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix

183: Real-Life Skills for Getting the Love You Want – with Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix

What if there were a guide written to help you not only communicate better with your partner, and experience love more deeply – but that would also heal the triggers that keep creating conflict between you and your partner? As it turns out – that guide exists! This week, our guests are Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D, authors of the classic book, Getting the Love You Want which was just updated and re-released. Both are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, and created Imago Relationship Therapy, a leading tool for helping couples bridge the gaps and deepen their connection. In addition, Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 18 times! This week, hear them reveal how they have put Imago into practice in their own relationship – which will give you some helpful direction on making this work practical for your life and relationship as well.

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182: Is Variety a Spice or a Vice?

182: Is Variety a Spice or a Vice?

We all share a need for variety in our lives. Without it, our lives can be tedious and boring. But sometimes, our quest for adventure and novelty can stop feeding us, and instead can actually become detrimental to our well-being, and can eat away at the fabric of our relationships. How do you know if you have a healthy amount of variety in your life? And how do you know if your pursuit of variety has become something negative? After today’s episode, you’ll be able to quickly diagnose yourself, or your partner – and know exactly how to remedy the situation, if the situation needs fixing.

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181: Depression? What You Can Do with Michael Yapko

181: Depression? What You Can Do with Michael Yapko

Is depression affecting you or someone you love? What do we know about the best ways to overcome depression? And how can we mitigate the ways that it impacts our relationships? This week, our guest is Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and author of 15 books including Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It. He is internationally recognized for his work in developing strategic, outcome-focused psychotherapies, the advanced clinical applications of hypnosis, and active, short-term non-pharmacological treatments of depression. Dr. Yapko has been a passionate advocate for redefining how we think about and treat peoples’ problems, especially the most common ones of anxiety and depression. Michael shares how he approaches treating depression and provides some steps that you can take if you’re dealing with depression yourself.

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180: Are You Truly Committed?

180: Are You Truly Committed?

Are you truly committed to your relationship, or is it possible that you’re only partly committed? How would you know? Or, perhaps you know that you have a fear of commitment – but you’re not sure why? In this week’s episode we’re going to tackle the ways that your commitment (or lack thereof) could be impacting you in your relationship. You’ll learn two important questions that can help you let go of your fears, and discover how your world might transform when you bring yourself into full alignment with your commitment. In last week’s conversation with Julie and John Gottman, we talked about just how important commitment is to the success of your relationship – and in this episode you’ll get a chance to transform your own inner relationship and unleash the power of fully committing to your partner (or anything that you want to be committed to).

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179: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love with Julie and John Gottman

179: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love with Julie and John Gottman

What if you could have eight powerful dates that could totally transform the most important aspects of your relationship with your partner? Whether you’re in a new relationship and trying to figure out if someone’s right for you, or have been with your partner for decades and trying to figure out if your partner is STILL right for you, today’s conversation will help jump-start your curiosity and lead you into deep connection with your partner. This week, our guests are John & Julie Gottman, the founders of The Gottman Institute. World-renowned researchers and clinical psychologists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. They have published over 200 academic journal articles and written 46 books that have sold over a million copies in more than a dozen languages.

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178: The New Monogamy: From Assumptions to Integrity with Tammy Nelson

178: The New Monogamy: From Assumptions to Integrity with Tammy Nelson

What does monogamy mean to you and your partner? Sometimes a couple will have a different definition of what monogamy is and that miscommunication can lead to problems in your relationship and today we’re talking about that and a whole lot more. This week, our guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, she is an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, and she’s also a Licensed Psychotherapist, with almost 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Tammy, also offers training for therapists who are working with couples around these issues is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Her work will help you heal and rebuild if you’ve experienced betrayal in your relationship, and it will also help strengthen your bond if you’re simply looking to create an even more robust version of monogamy that really works for you, and your partner.

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177: How To Get Past Your Resentment

177: How To Get Past Your Resentment

How is resentment affecting your relationship? Are you holding onto something from the past, or is there something that occurs again and again in your relationship that you just can’t get over? Or do you feel that your partner resents you for something, and you’re not sure how to resolve things? In this episode, we’re going to talk about how to heal the resentments that may have built up in your relationship. You’ll learn what parts of the process require collaboration, and which parts of the process you can work on yourself. How your boundaries can help keep you from harboring resentment in the first place. In the end, my goal for you is for you to experience what it’s like to live resentment-free and to take your power back in the places where resentment is keeping you from showing up with love, compassion, and generosity in your relationship.

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176: Healing Trauma and Attachment Injuries through Intimacy: AEDP with Diana Fosha

176: Healing Trauma and Attachment Injuries through Intimacy: AEDP with Diana Fosha

<span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Have you ever felt stuck, within yourself or within your relationship? Have you felt the effects of depression or anxiety as a result? You may know that intimacy is important – but today we’re going to show you how intimacy can help you heal your traumas and attachment injuries – so that you can get unstuck. This week, our guest is Diana Fosha, PhD, the developer of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), a healing-based, transformation-oriented model of psychotherapeutic treatment. Diana Fosha is the Founder and Director of the AEDP Institute, and the author of</span> <em><span style=”font-weight: 400;”>The Transforming Power of Affect: A Model for Accelerated Change</span></em><span style=”font-weight: 400;”>. Diana shares how she creates intimacy in a therapeutic setting and how that intimacy and safety helps clients make huge transformations in terms of their experience of their own lives.</span>

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175: What’s Keeping You From Changing?

175: What’s Keeping You From Changing?

Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? Every January 1st many of us make resolutions to make some changes in our lives. Whether it be to change something significant in your relationship, spend more time with your significant other, or even something small like reading more, we all start off meaning well but we don’t always follow through with making the changes we want to make. In fact, studies have shown that around 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. What is stopping us from making those changes and why do we hold ourselves back from change? What do you do if your partner isn’t on board for the change you desire? In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about the things that may be holding you back, so that you can move past them and become a beacon of strength, change, and integrity. Let’s get the year started off right, together.

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174: She Comes First: More Orgasms For Women with Ian Kerner

174: She Comes First: More Orgasms For Women with Ian Kerner

 What are some of the keys to helping a woman experience pleasure, and orgasms? If you’re a woman and you’re not having orgasms – and you want to be – then this episode could be really helpful – sure, for you – but especially for your partner. Maybe leave this episode’s transcript under their pillow? This week, our guest is Ian Kerner, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. Ian is a licensed psychotherapist, and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Today Ian Kerner shares how he has helped couples create more intimate and satisfying sexual relationships and he addresses the knowledge gap that many of us have about a woman’s sexual anatomy.

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Podcast Reviews

  • So informative
    April 10, 2019 by Pimpco555 from United States

    I have been impressed with this podcast for years, and have taken their class. Great guests, broad range of relationship styles explored, non-judgements, intelligent! What a grand gift to he world!!! Bravo!

  • Helpful and thoughtful relationship advice
    March 9, 2019 by Jcm451 from United States

    I have been married for over 10 years and I had my own counselor for a while. I have listened to two and half of these podcasts and they were so helpful in helping me think through my own commitment and approach to the marriage. I thought Neil brought up a good point about having your own counseling and how that can sometimes shift the focus from the relationship to just yourself. I felt my counselor did a great job but it wasn’t about my marriage it was more about me so I am happy to find these podcasts to help bring the focus back to my relationship. I am looking forward to you listening to more updates and I am grateful that Neil has created a series and is sharing it with the rest of us.

  • Relationship therapist in a podcast
    February 18, 2019 by Lee Zebra from United States

    I’ve been a frequent listener of this podcast for some time now, and am very grateful for it’s existence. The wisdom and knowledge this podcast holds for anyone who is trying to make sense of the complexities within relationships between self/other has helped me tremendously in terms of my own self awareness and the overall health of my relationship. Neil is an excellent host and interviewer, and has invited a wide array of experts to share their knowledge. I have gotten so much out of these podcasts and think it’s the best podcast out there in terms of relationship guidance.

  • Excellent
    December 24, 2018 by Silvvvvvvvvvv789 from United States

    Excellent material and great guests & topics. Thanks Neil for making this podcast for all of us! I appreciate it so much.

  • Very relevant and valuable but...
    September 11, 2018 by conan2280 from United States

    This podcast was recommended to me by my therapist. So far, I really like what I’ve heard and the topics have been very helpful to me. The one criticism I have and why I’m giving the podcast 4 stars is the occasional profanity requiring I have to allow explicit in my iPhone restrictions. I know many are ok with profanity and it makes it “real” for them, but for me, it is abrasive to the ears and I wouldn’t expect it in a great podcast like this.