148: How to Strengthen the Safety and Resilience of Your Relationship – with Gabrielli LaChiara

148: How to Strengthen the Safety and Resilience of Your Relationship – with Gabrielli LaChiara

What are some practical ways to build safety in your relationship? To get back to love when you’re in conflict? And to create such a solid background of safety and positive energy in your relationship that you can withstand the inevitable bumps along the way? One of the most important skills for you to develop is the ability to come back when things go a bit off-the-rails. In today’s episode, we’re going to give you a tool to help you when times are challenging – and to put even more positive energy in the relationship bank account when things are going well – or even just neutral. Our guest is Gabrielli LaChiara, a teacher and friend whose work has been fundamental in the growth of my own relationship, as well as my coaching and healing work with clients. In our conversation today, Gabrielli blends some of the techniques of Howard Glasser’s Nurtured Heart approach with her own Infinity Healing practice to give you something you can start doing right away to boost your relationship.

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147: A Simple, Radical Way to Improve Your Ability to Connect

147: A Simple, Radical Way to Improve Your Ability to Connect

What’s stopping you from having the kind of connection with others that you want? Whether you’re in a relationship and feeling stuck with your partner, or single and wondering how to connect with someone amazing – today’s episode is for you. You’re going to learn a simple way to shift how you interact with others that will open you up to a much more alive, dynamic, exciting way to connect. You’ll also know how to recognize when it’s time to make a boundary and NOT connect.

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146: How and Why to Have a Good Divorce – with Constance Ahrons

146: How and Why to Have a Good Divorce – with Constance Ahrons

What’s the recipe for a successful divorce? If you’ve tried everything, and it’s time to separate or get divorced – how do you do it well, so that you (and your soon-to-be-ex) emerge relatively unscathed? And if you have children, how do you ensure that they are also not traumatized by the process? In this week’s episode, our guest is Dr. Constance Ahrons, one of the world’s leading experts in how to navigate divorce well. Her book, The Good Divorce was a groundbreaking work that studied the effects of divorce on children – and identified exactly what kinds of post-divorce relationships had the best outcomes. In my conversation with Dr. Ahrons, you’ll learn exactly what to do, what not to do, and how to salvage a situation that’s already not going well.

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145: Core Relationship Principles #3 – Fostering Curiosity and Dismantling Limiting Stories – with Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin

145: Core Relationship Principles #3 – Fostering Curiosity and Dismantling Limiting Stories – with Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin

How do you stay curious in your relationship? And how do you get rid of the stories that you tell yourself – about your partner (or about yourself) – that are holding you back? This is the third episode of our “Core Relationship Principles” series. Chloe Urban and I show you exactly how to know when it’s time to bring your curiosity back online, how to identify when a “story” is getting in your way, and what to do to make the shift. Some stories can empower you, for sure – but the more that you’re able to get out of you story and into reality, the better your relationship will be. After listening to this episode, you’ll have some solid strategies for infusing your relationship with curiosity and the powerful truth of “what is”.

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144: Extreme Self Care for a Healthy Relationship – with Cheryl Richardson

144: Extreme Self Care for a Healthy Relationship – with Cheryl Richardson

Have you ever felt like everyone else’s needs come first? Have you wondered how you’re supposed to show up in your relationship, or for your family, if you’re exhausted and not feeling nourished and supported yourself? How do you make the shift so that you feel full enough to have something extra to offer those around you? In today’s episode, we’re going to cover the art of Extreme Self Care – so that you can learn how to make boundaries and take better care of yourself (and why that’s so important for the health of your relationship). Our guest is Cheryl Richardson, professional coach and New York Times Bestselling author of several books, including Take Time for Your Life, and her most recent book, Waking Up in Winter. Cheryl Richardson was literally one of the first professional coaches, and her decades of experience will help you reclaim your life, find your center, and bring your best self to your relationships

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143: Mismatched Sex Drive? What To Do.

143: Mismatched Sex Drive? What To Do.

What do you do if you want to have sex more than your partner? Or if your partner wants to have sex more than you do? Differences in sexual desire can create so many problems in a relationship, and in today’s episode we tackle this topic head-on. There’s something here for you no matter which side of the equation you’re on. Here’s a hint: typically, when differences in sex drive become “the issue” – there’s actually something else going on. Or even several “something elses”. I’m going to help you figure out what they are in your relationship, and find your way to a balance around sex that feels great to both you and your partner. Along the way, you’ll figure out if it’s really about a difference in libido – or if there’s something standing in the way of your having the kind of sexual connection with your partner that you desire.

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142: Loving Bravely – How Self Discovery Can Transform Your Relationship – with Alexandra Solomon

142: Loving Bravely – How Self Discovery Can Transform Your Relationship – with Alexandra Solomon

What power do you have to change your relationship for the better by working on yourself? If things aren’t going so well, how do you know if you’ve done “all you can do” – or if there’s still hope? As you know, relationships require a balance of learning the skills of relating to others AND doing your own work to bring yourself more fully to your connection. On today’s episode, you’re going to learn how to find that balance, along with some ways to take both your inner growth and your outer skills to the next level. Our guest is Dr. Alexandra Solomon, author of Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want. Along with her “Marriage and Intimacy 101” course at Northwestern University, Alexandra Solomon has taken relationship education to a new level – with practical ways to help you uplevel your abilities in relationship. The tools that we present in today’s episode will ensure that you’re on the right track as you move forward on your relationship journey.

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141: Is Your Relationship Healthy? – with Neil Sattin

141: Is Your Relationship Healthy? – with Neil Sattin

How do you know if your relationship is healthy? Does having problems mean that your relationship isn’t healthy? And how do you promote the health of your relationship? In this week’s episode, Neil Sattin answers these questions so that you can quickly get a sense of what’s going on in your relationship – and, if you decide that things aren’t healthy, exactly what to do to get back on track.

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140: Mastering the Art of Inner Transformation – Internal Family Systems with Dick Schwartz

140: Mastering the Art of Inner Transformation – Internal Family Systems with Dick Schwartz

How do you do the work of true inner transformation? If there are parts of you that are getting in the way – of intimacy, of thriving, of living in integrity – then you’re going to have a tough time realizing the full potential of your life and your relationships. However, you have everything you need inside of you – if you know how to access it! In today’s conversation, we’re getting a return visit from Dick Schwartz, creator of Internal Family Systems. We’ll be exploring this powerful way of finding your core resourcefulness – which he calls “Self” energy – and using it to help heal and grow the parts within you that are holding you back, or interfering with your vibrancy and effectiveness. You’ll learn how to identify the different parts within you, and the roles that they are playing, and you’ll also get a taste of what it’s like to be coming from “Self”. And at the end you will hear Dick Schwartz guide me through an actual journey of identifying a part that’s been impacting me in the here and now – and you’ll hear how he works with me, and that part, to heal and transform. It’s powerful, and vulnerable, and all here for you to experience on this week’s episode of the Relationship Alive podcast.

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139: Change Your Pattern – How to BE an Invitation

139: Change Your Pattern – How to BE an Invitation

How do you invite someone into your world, your truth, your desires? When you have a complaint, how do you invite someone to the table about it in a way where they WANT to respond and help make things right? And, most importantly, how do you invite someone to be who they truly are? Today’s show is all about how to “be an invitation”, and whether you’re in a relationship, or single and looking to connect, the art of being an invitation can completely transform how you connect with another person. By the end of today’s episode, you will have clear strategies to figure out how to improve your connection with the people in your life who matter most.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Very relevant and valuable but...
    September 11, 2018 by conan2280 from United States

    This podcast was recommended to me by my therapist. So far, I really like what I’ve heard and the topics have been very helpful to me. The one criticism I have and why I’m giving the podcast 4 stars is the occasional profanity requiring I have to allow explicit in my iPhone restrictions. I know many are ok with profanity and it makes it “real” for them, but for me, it is abrasive to the ears and I wouldn’t expect it in a great podcast like this.

  • Amazing relationship help!
    August 6, 2018 by Neos lawn care from United States

    I’ve been listening to this podcast for over a year now. Neil stays current and offers some of the best guests and topics I’ve come across. Very helpful and applies to what I’ve been looking for! Thanks Neil 💗 you’ve helped my relationship in many ways!

  • It’s been a worthwhile journey
    July 31, 2018 by Scarfgirl from United States

    I subscribed to this podcast while I was trying to fix my broken marriage, but only really started listening during my divorce. So I haven’t been in a romantic relationship for most of the time that I have listened to this podcast, but it’s been a real pleasure to be exposed to so many researchers and authors I would not have otherwise found and their knowledge as well. This podcast has improved my relationship with myself, my kids, my family and my friends. It has also kept me aware of what is possible in a *good*/amazing/fully committed relationship during what could be a time of contraction and despair. I always learn something here, and I really relish the opportunity to bring this learning into *so* many different areas of my life, perhaps most of all my relationship to myself. I feel like I’m a walking testament to the power of this podcast and the transferable skills and knowledge Neil and Chloe bring to light. I don’t know if I will ever be in a romantic relationship again, but if I am, I feel very confident that I will bring more capacity for joy, presence, good communication, possibility and growth than I did at other times in my life; I have Neil to thank, in part, for that. So thanks Neil & keep it coming - I am listening!

  • The Best Podcast on Relationships
    July 24, 2018 by Elizak1 from United States

    This podcast was one of the first podcasts I began listening to and it's the reason I'm now a podcast addict! Some podcasts you listen to for a couple weeks or a month and than it gets old - this is not one of those podcasts! This podcast is fresh and new and ALIVE every time. Neil goes deeper than most podcasters are willing to go and, as a result, this podcast will take you deeper than you could imagine. Neil is one of the best interviewers I've ever listened to. This podcast transformed my life and my relationship. Thank you Neil!

  • Oops I think I review this one on accident BUT
    May 29, 2018 by monicajacobsiam from United States

    Please know I looooove your podcast !!!!