115: The Courage to Not Be Perfect - with Neil Sattin

115: The Courage to Not Be Perfect - with Neil Sattin

Nov 6, 2017 |

Does perfectionism get in the way in your relationship? How do you navigate the gap between how things are - and how you'd like them to be? What do you do if you find yourself being judgmental of your partner - or if they're judging you? In this week's episode, we talk about how to get related to the imperfection in your relationship in a way that will foster deep connection and compassion. Rather than getting lost in shame, and blame, discover a way to bring vibrancy to your relationship by getting clear, courageous, and vulnerable about who you truly are.

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114: How to Get the Most Out of Therapy - with Jeff Zeig

114: How to Get the Most Out of Therapy - with Jeff Zeig

Oct 31, 2017 |

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If you’re going to seek help from a therapist (or coach), then how do you set yourself up for success? How do you find the right therapist? And how has the process of therapy evolved to achieve better and better results? To answer these questions and more, we have a return visit from Dr. Jeffrey Zeig, the Director of the Milton Erickson Foundation. Along with having been a student of Milton Erickson, and being an incredibly skilled therapist and trainer in his own right, Jeff is also the architect of the Evolution of Psychotherapy conference, which pulls together the top minds in the field of psychotherapy to discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and to collaborate on enhancing what’s possible through the art and science of psychotherapy.

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113: How to Find Healing and Connection in a Dark Time - with Neil Sattin

113: How to Find Healing and Connection in a Dark Time - with Neil Sattin

Oct 24, 2017 |

When things get tough in your relationship, how do you get through it, to the other side - in a way that leaves you better than you were before? Whether it's an everyday conflict, or a true crisis - there's a way to find the healing that will keep you from repeating unhealthy patterns, and allow you to experience an even deeper intimacy with your partner. In this episode I explore, in practical terms, how to find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.

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112: How and Why to Apologize Effectively with Harriet Lerner

112: How and Why to Apologize Effectively with Harriet Lerner

Oct 17, 2017 |

Have you ever received an apology that didn’t quite cut it? That made things even worse? Plus, let’s face it - life can be messy. Despite your best intentions, it is nearly impossible to avoid causing harm or hurt every so often. So - when is an apology necessary? How do you apologize effectively? Isn’t “I’m sorry” enough? What are the key ingredients to be able to repair a relationship in a way that makes your connection stronger? And what is the place of forgiveness in all of this?

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111: How to Ask for Support - with Neil Sattin

111: How to Ask for Support - with Neil Sattin

Oct 9, 2017 |

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Do you ever feel alone in challenging times? There's an art to weaving a web of support for yourself, so that the people in your life know how to show up for you. And so that the people showing up for you actually do it in a way that truly supports you - and helps you move towards a more positive, life-affirming way of being. In today's episode, we talk about how to ask for help, how NOT to ask for help - and how to figure out exactly what you're asking for. We also address how to answer when someone is asking you for support.

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110: Your Tantra Questions Answered - with Diana Richardson

110: Your Tantra Questions Answered - with Diana Richardson

Oct 3, 2017 |

How can you use the techniques of tantra in your everyday, busy life? How do you get off the “getting off” grid when it comes to sex, and find deeper, more satisfying connection with your partner? What is “relaxed entry” - and how can that revolutionize your sex life? In this episode, we receive a return visit from Diana Richardson, one of the world’s experts on tantra, and author of The Heart of Tantric Sex (among many other books on tantra).

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109: Is This Normal?

109: Is This Normal?

Sep 26, 2017 |

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Is it normal to have conflict in your relationship? How do you know if what you're experiencing is OK - or a sign of doom? And, even more importantly - what do you do when conflict occurs to lead to an even deeper connection with your partner? In this episode, I cover what NOT to do when you dive into a fight with your partner - and what you CAN do to keep yourselves from heading into a downward spiral of disconnection. You'll also learn how to avoid the trap of just sweeping conflict under the rug - which is a good short-term solution, but over the long term will deepen the rifts between you and your partner. Yes, it's normal - but what you DO about it is what matters most!

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108: Creating Positive Intensity in Your Connection with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

108: Creating Positive Intensity in Your Connection with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

Sep 19, 2017 |

Does is seem like the only time that things get intense in your relationship is when negative things happen? This kind of experience, repeated over time, can literally train your brain to be in a hyper-vigilant state when your partner is around. So how can you rewire your brain to experience your partner as intensely positive? And how do you switch from a pattern of complaining to a pattern of wish-granting with your partner? In today’s episode, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt return to answer these important questions. We cover one particular exercise that you can do with your partner (that Chloe and I experienced in their Getting the Love You Want workshop at Kripalu) that they’ve never talked about in an interview! We also discuss tips from their new book, The Space Between, which offers a succinct explanation of how to apply the fundamental lessons from their work in your relationship.

Additionally, if you’re interested in hearing our first conversation together - Episode 22 - Essential Skills for Conscious Relationship with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

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107: A Little Honesty Goes a Long Way

107: A Little Honesty Goes a Long Way

Sep 13, 2017 |

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What's an amazing source of energy for your relationship? The TRUTH! Are there moments when you're not telling the full truth? Or does it seem that your partner is holding back? If there's energy and vitality missing from your connection, it could be that there's not enough honesty in your relationship. Building on episode 105, where we talked about small changes that can make a big difference in your relationship, in this episode we're going to talk about how to make small shifts in the way you communicate that will help bring you back into balance with the truth. We'll also revisit some of the concepts from Episode 24 with Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson - on why lying happens in a relationship, and how to tell if you're actually encouraging your partner to lie to you! All in today's episode of Relationship Alive!

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106: Stopping The Nice Guy Syndrome with Robert Glover

106: Stopping The Nice Guy Syndrome with Robert Glover

Sep 6, 2017 |

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Are you a “nice guy” - or are you in a relationship with one? While there’s nothing wrong with being nice, it can create problems - especially when you’re so focused on pleasing others that you move further and further away from your true, authentic self. How do you reclaim masculinity without becoming a stereotype? How do you consider others, while still maintaining healthy boundaries? In this episode, we’re talking with Dr. Robert Glover, the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, about how to find a healthy way to uncover your true self - and to bring your authenticity to your life and relationship.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Apologies are hard…
    December 13, 2024 by kaandcoco from Canada

    Thank you for the guidance on apologies. Our Mother died recently and the family dynamics have intensified! Triggers going off for everyone. Old wounds festering. I am and know many other “un-apologizers”. It has rarely seemed safe or sincere to apologize with in our family. It’s so difficult for me to sort through apologizing when I am not ready or simply don’t feel I should or can with sincerity. I see now it can be helpful to break it up into parts where possible. So important to begin de-escalating a conflict and the hurts and resentments that can build in the time following a real or perceived slight or conflict. Hopefully enough to create a space to return to when I have a better understanding of what dynamics are in play in myself. Once de-escalated I can agree to revisiting the situation and subsequently reassure myself and others that I value coming to a resolution. Hopefully avoiding or minimizing further misunderstandings in future. Great topic! Thank you

  • So happy I found your show!
    August 30, 2024 by DvGuts from United States

    Wonderful content. Please continue - you have so much valuable, beautiful information to share!

  • !!!
    June 9, 2024 by geminilibraleo from United States

    Glad this show is back!

  • What a great listen!
    October 25, 2022 by Claribelleee from Philippines

    This show is so real and authentic! Love the chemistry of the hosts of the guests!

  • Great show!
    September 4, 2022 by Kingxxelo from United States

    I listen to this every time I'm struggling with something .