When you want to shift something in your life, sometimes the scale of the change can seem daunting. So how do you get from point A to point B (or…point Z) in a way that’s actually doable – and sustainable? It can be tempting to take drastic actions to make big changes – but you might sabotage your changes by falling into your old habits. Today we’ll talk about how you can create positive changes in your relationship, or something else in your life, in a way that’s practical, and relatively easy – no matter how big the change.
Are ultimatums ever a good idea? If so – when? If not, what can you do instead? What should you do if you receive an ultimatum from your partner? And how do you undo the damage that an ultimatum can do to a relationship? In this episode, we’re going to cover all the ins and outs of what to do when you come up against a dealbreaker in your relationship, and how to handle your last-ditch attempts to get things back on track.
When emotions are stuck within you – how can you use your creativity to get things moving? Sometimes the muse within you is a quiet whisper – other times screaming for your attention. Today we’ll talk about how to find the voice – and what to do once you have. And, towards the end, I’ll share a song with you that arrived after recording my last episode, on the process of going through a breakup and grieving. (song is at [19:20])
When it comes to breaking up, is there a right way to do it? How long should it take for you to get over your ex? How do you know when it’s time to see someone new? How do you deal with the way that your ex is handling the breakup? In this week’s episode, we’re going to cover what’s “normal” in the breakup experience, and how to make sure that you focus on your grieving in a way that’s most likely to lead to growth – so you can avoid making the same mistakes in your next relationship.
When you’re stuck in conflict, how do you step outside of the situation enough to identify ways to break the patterns that are keeping you stuck? Especially in ongoing conflict, just doing more of the same isn’t going to change your outcome. Our guest is Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, author of Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life. We’ll talk about practical, effective strategies you can use to escape the conflict loop – and, thus, get different results!
Do you ever feel like you *should* have gotten over something challenging – that you’ve grown, and learned from the experience, but that on some level it still haunts you? Or do you feel inner conflict around decisions that seem like they should be relatively clear-cut? Are you afraid of failure? It could very well be that you have bypassed or suppressed your negative emotions, and that they’re now stuck inside you, wreaking havoc on your inner guidance system. By not facing failures or challenges head on, we actually create an emotional dissonance within ourselves that’s an obstacle to moving forward. Today we’ll talk about how to face things when they’re not quite the way you want them to be – and how to develop the inner honesty that will help you feel aligned and courageous no matter what’s happening in your life.
When your partner is unmotivated to change and has resorted to stonewalling – or blaming everything on you – what can you do? If you’re a therapist working with a couple in this situation, you’ll learn some valuable ways to directly address this issue and change the dynamics. In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Peter Pearson. He is a co-founder, with Ellyn Bader, of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues.
Do you ever procrastinate? If you’re looking for a way to finally stop putting things off – and get them done – then today’s episode is for you. As a follow-up to a session with me on being overwhelmed, David Burns has returned for a session to help me with my own procrastination. You’ll get to hear what works, what doesn’t, and – if you’re a therapist or coach – how to help other people with their procrastination. David Burns…
How do you talk about your feelings – without your partner getting reactive and defensive? There are some common mistakes that we make when talking about our feelings that can lead to it going horribly wrong. In today’s episode, we’ll cover ways that you can adjust how you talk about your feelings so that you’ll be most likely to stay connected – even if you’re bringing up some hard stuff. And you’ll learn what to do if you notice your partner making these mistakes as well when they talk about their feelings with you.
Are you undermining your connection with your partner, or the others in your life, with microaggressions? While the “little things” can be the building blocks of something amazing – they can also undermine the very fabric of how you relate with another person, perpetuating sexism, racism, or other unhealthy power dynamics. Today our guest is Kevin Nadal, co-editor of Microaggression Theory: Influence and Implications. He is one of the world’s foremost experts on how to spot microaggressions and overcome their impact in your life.
I have mentioned your podcast several times on my podcast Living Connected - NVC
I have taken so many notes on each episode. I find the things you say are so real and honest and true. Keep up the hard work. I feel your grief and you are not alone. I will continue sharing your podcast. You are that good!! I have learned and Evolved in so many ways Bc of you. Thank you. 🥰❤️
August 7, 2020 by Hessboogie from United States
Recently discovered this podcast after a tough conversation with my partner. I realized that I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and hoping to start the work. This podcast provides good tips and insight. Will continue listening!
Love this podcast!
July 2, 2020 by orit.krug from United States
Neil keeps it real in a way that’s inspiring and massively helpful, and at the same time... he helps us feel normal and hopeful that we are not alone in our relationship struggles. I so appreciate him sharing his own relatable stories that feel SO supportive to my own relationship growth!
April 7, 2020 by Clarisse Gomez from United States
Neil, host of the Relationship Alive! podcast, highlight all aspects of relationships, marriage and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!
Love this pod!
February 28, 2020 by Charlotte in Seattle from United States
Such a gem of a podcast. Neil has such an empathic and soothing style that makes me think not just about my relationships, but also myself as an individual. The guests are high profile from psychology and relationship circles. When I’m upset about life, I turn on this pod and find solace with Niel and his wonderfully knowledgeable interviewees. It has helped me become a more vulnerable, loving, and considerate person, not only to others but myself as well.