201: Can People Really Change? – with Neil Sattin

201: Can People Really Change? – with Neil Sattin

Can people really change? And how do you know if someone *will* change? It’s a good question, especially if you’re dealing with some significant challenges in your relationship. You might be wondering about your partner – or you might be wondering about your own ability to do things differently, especially if you feel stuck in a rut. In this episode, we’ll tackle how change works. What are the requirements for creating changes that actually stick? What’s realistic when it comes to the pace of change? And how can you tell if someone else is truly going to do what it takes for change to happen?

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200: Pleasure Activism – Change that Nourishes You – with adrienne maree brown

200: Pleasure Activism – Change that Nourishes You – with adrienne maree brown

When looking to change things in your world, how do you let pleasure be the force that guides you? How do you fulfill desire while you fight for change? How do you take care of yourself while you transform? And how do you allow organic, sustainable change to emerge in your life – without feeling like you have to force things? Today we’re speaking with author, activist, and healer adrienne maree brown. Her most recent book, the New York Times bestseller “Pleasure Activism”, leans into black feminist traditions to challenge you to rethink the groundrules of how to facilitate change in your own life.

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199: What To Do When Things Get Challenging

199: What To Do When Things Get Challenging

When things get challenging in your relationship, what’s the best way to ensure that you and your partner can make it through? How do you avoid the losing strategies that come naturally in a moment of crisis – and, instead, choose ways of dealing that are more likely to lead to a positive outcome? Whether it’s something small, or something that feels more apocalyptic, this week we’ll talk about how to weather the storm successfully, with strategies that will help you navigate a painful moment without doing something destructive.

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198: Healing Your Earliest Attachment Wounds – with Peter Levine

198: Healing Your Earliest Attachment Wounds – with Peter Levine

How would you know if there were experiences from the earliest moments of your life affecting you here and now? And if you are indeed being impacted by the distant past – what can you do to heal those early traumas so that you’re more free and connected in your current life? Our guest today is Peter Levine, creator of Somatic Experiencing, and author of many bestselling books on healing trauma – “Waking the Tiger”, “In an Unspoken Voice”, and “Trauma and Memory” – just to name a few! Today you’ll learn how to recognize the signs of these deep emotions, and what to do to regulate them, as well as how to help our co-regulate with your partner, to build a stronger, more resilient foundation for your relationship (and within yourself).

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197: Sexy Consent – Deeper Intimacy with Neil Sattin

197: Sexy Consent – Deeper Intimacy with Neil Sattin

Do you want one surefire way to know if the way you’re interacting with your partner is something that they’re into? Get their consent! Is there a place for getting consent even in a long-term relationship where you’re pretty sure you know what your partner wants (and doesn’t want)? Absolutely! It turns out that getting consent is a pathway to deeper intimacy and presence – for ALL relationships. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to re-introduce the language of consent into your relationship in a way that’s empowering for both you and your partner, and you’ll discover exactly why your “no” creates even more relationship health than your “yes”. Along the way, you’ll strengthen the trust and fuel the passion in your connection.

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196: Harnessing the Transformative Power of Your Core Emotions – The Change Triangle with Hilary Jacobs Hendel

196: Harnessing the Transformative Power of Your Core Emotions – The Change Triangle with Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Beneath anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame, are core emotions that are hardwired into our circuitry. When you’re able to tap into the core emotions – and move through them – you’ll feel a new sense of freedom and empowerment – with the ability to handle anything that life sends your way. Our guest today is Hilary Jacobs Hendel. She’s a psychotherapist and the author of the new book, “It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self,” which will definitely be a game changer for you. Today she has some practical tips for you on how to identify and work through these core emotions, so that you don’t get stuck in the secondary emotions that can get in your way.

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195: How to Turn a Negative View of Your Partner into Something Positive

195: How to Turn a Negative View of Your Partner into Something Positive

As much as we don’t like to admit it, we all hold a vivid image in our minds of our partner at their worst. When things start to go a bit off the rails in our relationship, this negative image can sometimes be all we see. And the bad news is, your partner also holds a core negative image – of you! Thankfully, we also have a core *positive* image – which is part of what keeps us in relationship when things get challenging. Based on the groundbreaking work of Terry Real, the core negative image is an important tool in elevating your relationship. In today’s episode, you’ll learn why it’s so important to get to know the core negative images that are at play in your relationship – and also how to use these negative images to help improve your relationship. Don’t deny that they’re there – know them and use them as a force for good!

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194: Heart vs. Head: Mismatched Processing Styles with Sue Johnson

194: Heart vs. Head: Mismatched Processing Styles with Sue Johnson

What do you do if you want to have conversations about emotions with your partner, and all they want to do is talk about how they think about things? Or vice versa? In today’s episode, we dropped in with Sue Johnson for a few minutes to get her take on this question. Sue Johnson is the author of “Hold Me Tight” and the creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) – and has trained thousands of couples therapists in her methods. Sue also reveals one thing that you can do, today, to add positive energy to ANY relationship.

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193: How Mindfulness Can Ignite Passion – Buddha’s Bedroom with Cheryl Fraser

193: How Mindfulness Can Ignite Passion – Buddha’s Bedroom with Cheryl Fraser

<span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Remember that spark you had with your partner when you first met? Butterflies in your stomach. Constantly checking for a text message or call from them. Daydreaming about your next date. Well, how do you get that back after you’ve settled into a routine of work, home, dinner, dishes, mouthguard, sleep? How about after a year? Five years? Or even a decade? Today you’ll learn how to use mindfulness techniques rediscover what’s amazing about your partner. Today’s guest is Dr. Cheryl Fraser. Cheryl combines her knowledge of how the mind works from a psychological and Buddhist perspective with her mission to help people create sexy, passionate, playful relationships. She’s also the author of</span> <em><span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Buddha’s Bedroom: The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy</span></em><span style=”font-weight: 400;”>.</span>

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192: When Love Vanishes or Affairs Happen – What To Do? – Your Questions Answered

192: When Love Vanishes or Affairs Happen – What To Do? – Your Questions Answered

What do you do if your partner tells you that they don’t love you anymore – or, maybe, that they think they never actually loved you? What are your next steps if your partner had an affair? These are all varying degrees of “leaning out” of your relationship. So – how do you respond in a way that has the best chance of not only preserving your sanity and dignity – but also, potentially, re-igniting your relationship? In today’s episode I answer two listener questions and get to the heart of what to do, and how to get to the truth, in these situations.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Love it! But.
    July 8, 2019 by Akmommaof2 from United States

    I love almost all of the podcasts!! My only complaint is when he switched to putting his adds in the middle of everything after you’re engaged, tends to throw me off! Not sure about everyone else?

  • Not a Substitute for Therapy but Pretty Dang Close
    July 4, 2019 by FreeziePop from United States

    As a therapist myself, I use this as supplemental to my partner’s and my couple’s counseling with positive outcomes. Well produced show with extremely knowledgeable and well known/renowned guests (in the mental health field).

  • Remarkable Resource
    July 1, 2019 by Brandon MS from United States

    Neil is a gifted interviewer who brings information that is helpful for laypeople as well as professionals. I am a marriage and family therapist, as a busy mom and clinician I have found this podcast extremely helpful in pointing me toward what I want to invest time reading more about. I often forward podcasts to my clients to have them listen as well. Thank you Neil!

  • Great and helpful interviews
    June 18, 2019 by Lazercats from United States

    Neil has a great interview style and has interesting and knowledgeable people on his show. Very helpful for my relationships.

  • Self-help / relationship psych Podcast excellence!
    June 7, 2019 by PNW_transplant from United States

    Extremely professional interviewing style that lets the podcast guests shine and makes for informative, easy to absorb and learn from episodes. An excellent array of guests! Thank you for such a great resource!