I've been working with high-conflict couples for more than a decade. While every couple is different, there's a consistent way that they either solve their conflict (or stay stuck). And it turns out that it works for ANY kind of conflict. In this episode of Relationship Alive, you'll learn the proven framework to take any challenging conversation from confrontation to collaboration.
Whether you're trying to figure out how to talk about politics with family, navigate a disagreement with your partner, or have a difficult conversation with someone you care about - the skills are the same. I break down the three steps that actually work to move past the divide, find common ground, and stay connected even when you deeply disagree.
In this episode you'll learn:
- Why trying to convince someone they're wrong almost never works
- How to stay regulated when a conversation gets heated
- The three steps to move from argument to collaboration
- How to find common values underneath surface-level disagreements
- Why relationship conflicts and political conflicts have the same root cause
FREE Guide to my Top 3 Communication Secrets:
https://www.neilsattin.com/relate
Regulate to Communicate workshop co-taught with Peter Levine:
https://www.neilsattin.com/workshop
Reach out: neilius at neilsattin dot com
[00:00:00] Intro
[00:01:20] The Key Problem - How We (Don’t) Learn to Handle Conflict
[00:03:00] The Pitfalls of Democracy When It Comes to Resolving Conflict
[00:05:20] A Simple Framework for Getting Through Conflict
[00:06:43] The Importance of an Actual Conversation
[00:08:08] Do You have to be calm for a challenging convo?
[00:09:22] Do the specifics Matter?
[00:10:09] The Most Important Priorities
[00:12:08] What about When the Other Person Can’t Show Up?
[00:14:53] What Keeps Couples Stuck - and how to undo it
[00:17:11] Another KEY skill
[00:21:16] How to Be Ready to Fail
00:22:15 Bringing this together for politics and other conflicts
