It happens to everyone at some point in time.

You get stuck in some pattern, and no matter what you do, it seems like the cycle just keeps repeating.

That could look like the same fight you've had 50 times. Or one of you leans in, and the other leans out.

Or you have an amazing first few dates, but then things just fizzle out.

Whatever the pattern is - as soon as it starts, you know how it's going to end.

It's not because you're broken, or because you picked the wrong person. And it's definitely not because you're doomed to just keep repeating the same problem over and over.

You CAN change the pattern.

It probably won't surprise you that people don't usually come to me when things are going well.

They come carrying a story.

Stories like: Tried everything. Nothing seems to work. There's a fatal flaw. Can't get past what happened. It's just who I am, or who we are.

But what actually paralyzes you, and keeps you stuck, is that those stories feel like the truth - like you've finally stopped kidding yourself and faced the facts.

And it's hard to shift The Truth - complete with boldface and capital Ts.

So before we do anything else - before a single tool or technique - one thing has to happen. We have to see your situation for what it really is.

A mix of fact...and fiction. And once you see the story behind "the truth", and get to move through what comes up, something new happens. You get your power back.

It feels like hope. Like possibility. It's something you feel in your bones.

Not because I talk you into looking on the bright side. False optimism and silver linings doesn't get you there.

It's because once you get that kind of perspective on yourself, it puts you back in the driver's seat.

You start to see clearly where your limitations are. There might be things you still need to learn. But you CAN learn them. You can grow. That's part of your nature.

That moment isn't the finish line. It's the starting line. Once you can feel that possibility, everything that comes next has somewhere solid to stand.

That's what these three weeks are really about.

And it's why I asked Megan Macedo to do this with me - her work gets you to that doorway with a clarity I haven't found anywhere else.

A few years ago, I came across Megan's work. She's an Irish writer and coach, based in London, with a gift for using writing as a tool for self (and relationship) discovery. Her down-to-earth demeanor helps you feel comfortable right off the bat.

And she has a completely different approach to uncovering the hidden narratives driving your life - a unique way of using writing to unearth the raw materials that make up your story.

It's writing that's just for you (although you can always choose to share it if you want to). You don't have to be a "good writer" - you're just using the written word to reveal something new about yourself.

You see the little pieces that, on their own, may not seem like much - or might not seem related to each other.

But when you step back to look at the bigger picture, something new emerges from the jumble.

You see your own personal story - crystal clear. And then the work that you need to do becomes obvious. When we combine that with what I've learned, over more than a decade, about how to process what comes up emotionally...it's like alchemy - you turn the lead into gold.

So Megan and I decided to join forces for this unique workshop experience - The Stories We Live.

Two different approaches. One powerful journey towards writing a new story - and then living it.

Session One: Grounding in Safety, Surfacing the Story - (catch the recording!)

We'll begin by exploring some of the core ideas and experiences that underpin our work together:

• find your own sense of safety and inner resourcefulness
• attune to your emotions and sensations - so you can understand your inner language and what it's trying to tell you
• an introduction to story cycles, patterns, metanarratives, and how they show up in your day-to-day life
• the relationship between your story and your emotions - and how it all lives in your body

Through a series of writing exercises and guided reflections with Megan, you'll begin to surface the tensions, blocks, unresolved feelings, or recurring patterns that you want to shift. Neil will introduce some simple practices to help you notice what is happening in your body and stay present with whatever emerges, even if it's challenging (and including what to do if "writer's block" happens).

By the end of this session, you'll feel grounded, and you'll have identified a knot, pattern, or story that you would like to explore more deeply. You'll know how to translate the inner language that your body uses to communicate with you. You'll also have some tools and prompts to continue the process between sessions.

Session Two: Understanding the Pattern, Processing the Emotion - July 8

During the week between sessions, you'll continue writing and noticing. In our second session, we'll use what has emerged to explore the stories underneath the pattern.

Megan will help you identify the narratives, assumptions, and metanarratives shaping your experience. Neil will introduce ways of working with protective patterns, emotional responses, and parts of ourselves that often arise when we begin to examine an old story.

We'll also explore the grief that is often hidden beneath our stuckness: what the old story offered, protected, or promised us, and what may need to be felt or released in order to begin living a new pattern.

By the end of this session, you'll have clarity on the story that you've been living. You'll feel the way that story lives inside of you - how it serves you, and how it confines you. If there are uncomfortable feelings and sensations that surface, you'll have a trusted process for metabolizing those feelings - gently moving through them so that they no longer hold you back.

Session Three: Living Into a Different Story - July 15

In our final session, we'll explore what happens when a story expands.

Rather than replacing one story with another, we'll look at how a story can become large enough to hold more truth, more complexity, and more of who we actually are. Through writing exercises, reflection, inner parts work and somatic practices, we'll begin the process of living into that more expansive story; one that supports rather than contorts us.

You’ll leave with writing, inner parts work, and somatic practices to help you stay with the process of living into a new story and a new pattern, so that you are able to continue this work long after our time together ends.

By the end of this session, you'll not only be writing the NEW story - you'll also have a felt experience of what it's like to live from that completely new place.

And it's that level of integrated experience that helps you feel solid and confident as you grow, and the story expands.

Neil Sattin is a coach, educator, and host of the Relationship Alive podcast. With more than 7 million downloads, Relationship Alive has featured interviews with leading experts in the field of relationships, intimacy, attachment, and trauma recovery for the past decade. Along with the podcast, Neil’s research and work have had a positive impact on thousands of individuals and couples worldwide over the past 15 years. His mission is to synthesize the best-of-the-best relational wisdom, making it useful and practical for as many people as possible. Neil recently developed the "Regulate to Communicate" framework, which he co-taught with Peter Levine.

Who is this workshop for?

If you want to learn more about yourself and your patterns - to make sense of things, get unstuck, transform situations that no longer serve you, and build on narratives that help you thrive - then this workshop is for you.

Do I need to be a writer?

You don't have to be a writer. We'll use writing exercises geared towards arriving at a deeper self-understanding. If you are a writer then you'll be able to deepen your practice. And if you're concerned about "writer's block" don't worry - our work together will help you access the parts of you that can write and express freely (and uncover - and transform - what's keeping you stuck).

How long does the workshop last?

Three sessions, each two hours long, on Wednesdays in July. Recordings will be available soon after each session if you're not able to attend live. First session already happened - recording is there for you to get caught up!

I'm not in a relationship. Is this still relevant?

Absolutely. This is a workshop about you, your relationship to your own life, and the stories that you've lived along the way.

You can work on your patterns in your finances, your career, your friends, your accomplishments and setbacks, etc.

We'll help you narrow things down in the very first session - but you will be gaining a skillset that you can keep using in the years ahead, applied to whatever area of your life demands more insight or exploration.

Do I have to share in the group?

While there will be opportunities to share, and to be supported directly by Neil and Megan, it's not required. There's plenty to learn by witnessing others' process, and you'll gain insights from others that you might not have discovered otherwise! That being said - if you DO want to share, and to be guided, and supported with care on your journey - we welcome your participation.

If you have other questions, please email me directly at neilius [at] neilsattin [dot] com – happy to help out!