How do you know if you, or someone you love, is addicted to sex, or porn? What can you do about it? And along with healing patterns of addiction, what is most helpful for the partners of people with addiction? Our guest today is Paula Hall, one of the world’s leading experts on treating sex and porn addiction, and the author of “”Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction” – along with many other books on the topic for addicts, partners, and the therapists who are helping them.
Are you being true to who you are? What are the ways that you’re holding back in your relationship, or compromising yourself? Even if you’re single, there might be ways that you’re not quite being fully yourself! Not only do you not get to experience life as fully as you could be – the people around you don’t get to actually experience3 you in all your glory! Of course, sometimes being “you” is risky – and requires courage and vulnerability. In this week’s episode, I’m going to help you diagnose the places where you could be shining a little more brightly – and help you learn how to step back into integrity before your light gets too dim – or the resentment gets too overwhelming!
Conflict in relationship is often viewed as a bad thing. It’s uncomfortable. It’s tense. It makes us feel bad, and often makes our partners feel bad too. But what if you’re missing out on an opportunity? Like two tectonic plates rubbing against each other, two people butting heads in relationship might be just the moment where something new forms within that relationship. And within you. That’s the view of this week’s guest, Viola Neufeld. She’s a coach, educator, therapist and facilitator, and she works to help those stuck in conflict to work through their difficult conversations to a place of profound inner transformation. Viola is also the author of “Grateful For The Fight: Using inner conflict to transform yourself and your relationships.”
It’s easy to talk about “Self Care” – to pay lip service to it – but what does it really mean to take care of yourself? In today’s episode, we’re going to get back to basics to ensure that you’re actually nourishing the most important person in your world – you! Because if you’re not, then how are you going to show up for the people around you? By the end, you'll have a sense of exactly what's essential for keeping you at your best.
There are ways to communicate that keep you stuck, or that make things worse – and there are ways to communicate that foster the healthy development of your relationship. So how do you avoid the pitfalls, and reconnect with each other in spite of your differences? Or even in appreciation of your differences? In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. They are co-founders of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues. Their book “Tell Me No Lies” describes how to create a culture of honesty in your relationship (and why that’s so important) – while their work on the Developmental Model of relationships gives deep insight into why we do what we do. Today we’ll get theoretical, we’ll get practical, and you’ll walk away with some new ways to communicate about challenging topics in ways that encourage the healthy development of your relationship.
In what ways are you being controlled by your partner? In what ways are you controlling them? How does it help you? And how does it hurt you? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive deep on this issue of control, and see if we just can’t dismantle the ways that it’s holding you back in your relationship. By the end, you’ll see exactly what structures of control you’ve put into place in your relationship, understand why they’re there, and have a path towards greater freedom to be yourself in your relationship.
Is it possible to be a spiritual being in a human body? Transcendent, yet grounded? And why is that so many “spiritual leaders” tell us to leave our feelings behind? How is it possible to be truly connected to another person – including on the spiritual level? To get to the heart, body, and soul of these questions, we’re having a return visit from Jeff Brown, author of the recently released book “Grounded Spirituality”. Jeff’s work is focused on connecting you to your precious, unique divinity – in a way that’s practical, connected, and…real. Or as Jeff Brown might say…enrealed.
Can people really change? And how do you know if someone *will* change? It’s a good question, especially if you’re dealing with some significant challenges in your relationship. You might be wondering about your partner – or you might be wondering about your own ability to do things differently, especially if you feel stuck in a rut. In this episode, we’ll tackle how change works. What are the requirements for creating changes that actually stick? What’s realistic when it comes to the pace of change? And how can you tell if someone else is truly going to do what it takes for change to happen?
When looking to change things in your world, how do you let pleasure be the force that guides you? How do you fulfill desire while you fight for change? How do you take care of yourself while you transform? And how do you allow organic, sustainable change to emerge in your life – without feeling like you have to force things? Today we’re speaking with author, activist, and healer adrienne maree brown. Her most recent book, the New York Times bestseller “Pleasure Activism”, leans into black feminist traditions to challenge you to rethink the groundrules of how to facilitate change in your own life.
When things get challenging in your relationship, what’s the best way to ensure that you and your partner can make it through? How do you avoid the losing strategies that come naturally in a moment of crisis – and, instead, choose ways of dealing that are more likely to lead to a positive outcome? Whether it’s something small, or something that feels more apocalyptic, this week we’ll talk about how to weather the storm successfully, with strategies that will help you navigate a painful moment without doing something destructive.
December 17, 2019 by The Fwa Fwa from United States
So much gratitude for all that Neil and his guests offer to all of us wanting to better our relationships and in that our lives!!
I feel like my relationships have done a 180 and in large part to the many helpful and vulnerable sharings on this show.
I have read many books from many of the guest on this podcast. Highly suggest it. I found out a lot more about myself in that. And was able to find healing in surprising places.
I have found Neil’s personal life sharings an incredibly helpful tool. A feeling of not alone, a hopefulness to change and in that, know myself better. I have been inspired to meet my fear in honest relationship, even if it causes me pain.
Thank you Neil, thank you for for being vulnerable, growing and sharing your journey ☺️
July 29, 2019 by lolkjt92 from United States
This is my first time listening to this podcast. I was activity searching for something like this in efforts to have a healthy, intimate, real relationship and this gem happened to pop up! I have to say Neil really does have such amazing content on here. I am sooooo grateful for this podcast, it has helped me immensely with communication with my partner and I have to give this podcast credit for helping me pave such a respectful path for my new relationship. I am spreading the word and I am excited to keep learning and growing! Thank you Neil! I recently downloaded the free guide for secret tips on communication and I am soo eager to read it!
My partner and I are using many of the tools I learned here. If you have a chance listen to relationship Alive! You won’t regret it 🧡
Love it! But.
July 8, 2019 by Akmommaof2 from United States
I love almost all of the podcasts!! My only complaint is when he switched to putting his adds in the middle of everything after you’re engaged, tends to throw me off! Not sure about everyone else?
Not a Substitute for Therapy but Pretty Dang Close
July 4, 2019 by FreeziePop from United States
As a therapist myself, I use this as supplemental to my partner’s and my couple’s counseling with positive outcomes. Well produced show with extremely knowledgeable and well known/renowned guests (in the mental health field).
July 1, 2019 by Brandon MS from United States
Neil is a gifted interviewer who brings information that is helpful for laypeople as well as professionals. I am a marriage and family therapist, as a busy mom and clinician I have found this podcast extremely helpful in pointing me toward what I want to invest time reading more about. I often forward podcasts to my clients to have them listen as well. Thank you Neil!