For quite awhile now I’ve been mentioning that there have been some challenges and changes going on in my life. This week, I’m going to share some of that with you. I’ve waited awhile for the timing to be right, so please take a moment and join me for a glimpse into my world and all that’s been happening.
With all the focus on ways to improve your relationship, growth and change can become something of an obsession. Especially if things are painful! However, sometimes all the efforts to change can create even more problems. So…it’s helpful to know when it’s time to just…stop. There are particular ways of “stopping” that can actually be beneficial – to your health and the health of your relationship. In this episode, I give you three specific ways to “stop” that can potentially jumpstart the “flow” in your relationship – especially if things have gotten stuck. It’s a little edgy (particularly my third suggestion) – but can sometimes be exactly what you need.
Ever feel like there’s a little too much drama in your life? Well, if that’s the case, then you probably have been caught in the Drama Triangle. If you’ve never heard of the Drama Triangle then be prepared – you’re going to start seeing it EVERYWHERE. Today you’ll learn how to spot it – and even better, how to escape it. Our guest is Dr. Stephen Karpman, the creator of the Drama Triangle, and author of the recent book “A Game-Free Life: The Definitive Book on the Drama Triangle and the Compassion Triangle” – which explains how to spot the sources of drama and dysfunction – and what to do to break the cycle. Along the way, you’ll also get clear tips on improved communication, how to deepen intimacy, and what agreements are essential to maintain in any relationship.
How do you communicate about your feelings in the most effective way possible? While we’re at it, how do you even *feel* your feelings so that they can move through you – instead of getting stuck or repressed? And, as you learn how to communicate about your feelings – what does the way that people respond to you tell you about them? In this week’s episode, you’ll discover some easy ways to touch into your deepest feelings, and to communicate about them in ways that can help connect you to the people in your life. And you’ll learn how communicating about your own emotions can help you discern important information about others.
How do you know if you, or someone you love, is addicted to sex, or porn? What can you do about it? And along with healing patterns of addiction, what is most helpful for the partners of people with addiction? Our guest today is Paula Hall, one of the world’s leading experts on treating sex and porn addiction, and the author of “”Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction” – along with many other books on the topic for addicts, partners, and the therapists who are helping them.
Are you being true to who you are? What are the ways that you’re holding back in your relationship, or compromising yourself? Even if you’re single, there might be ways that you’re not quite being fully yourself! Not only do you not get to experience life as fully as you could be – the people around you don’t get to actually experience3 you in all your glory! Of course, sometimes being “you” is risky – and requires courage and vulnerability. In this week’s episode, I’m going to help you diagnose the places where you could be shining a little more brightly – and help you learn how to step back into integrity before your light gets too dim – or the resentment gets too overwhelming!
Conflict in relationship is often viewed as a bad thing. It’s uncomfortable. It’s tense. It makes us feel bad, and often makes our partners feel bad too. But what if you’re missing out on an opportunity? Like two tectonic plates rubbing against each other, two people butting heads in relationship might be just the moment where something new forms within that relationship. And within you. That’s the view of this week’s guest, Viola Neufeld. She’s a coach, educator, therapist and facilitator, and she works to help those stuck in conflict to work through their difficult conversations to a place of profound inner transformation. Viola is also the author of “Grateful For The Fight: Using inner conflict to transform yourself and your relationships.”
It’s easy to talk about “Self Care” – to pay lip service to it – but what does it really mean to take care of yourself? In today’s episode, we’re going to get back to basics to ensure that you’re actually nourishing the most important person in your world – you! Because if you’re not, then how are you going to show up for the people around you? By the end, you'll have a sense of exactly what's essential for keeping you at your best.
There are ways to communicate that keep you stuck, or that make things worse – and there are ways to communicate that foster the healthy development of your relationship. So how do you avoid the pitfalls, and reconnect with each other in spite of your differences? Or even in appreciation of your differences? In today’s episode, we have a return visit from Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. They are co-founders of The Couples Institute, one of the leading centers for training couples therapists and helping people find practical solutions to relationship issues. Their book “Tell Me No Lies” describes how to create a culture of honesty in your relationship (and why that’s so important) – while their work on the Developmental Model of relationships gives deep insight into why we do what we do. Today we’ll get theoretical, we’ll get practical, and you’ll walk away with some new ways to communicate about challenging topics in ways that encourage the healthy development of your relationship.
In what ways are you being controlled by your partner? In what ways are you controlling them? How does it help you? And how does it hurt you? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive deep on this issue of control, and see if we just can’t dismantle the ways that it’s holding you back in your relationship. By the end, you’ll see exactly what structures of control you’ve put into place in your relationship, understand why they’re there, and have a path towards greater freedom to be yourself in your relationship.
This episode is down right amazing. As I listened to it I reflected on my life and wow did I see how I was that person that would go straight into my defense and blame others for my own stuff. Thank you for all that you do and helping everyone out there with relational well being.
I Love the Guidance
February 8, 2020 by Kendra Charts from United States
I recently started listening to this podcast and found Neil's transparency about his own life and relationship honest, real and relatable. I loved the podcast episode about judgement and found it so helpful how he offered strategies and walked the listener through it step by step. By the end of the episode I had several perspective shifts and insighful reflections. Highly recommend!
Thank you sincerely from me heart
December 17, 2019 by The Fwa Fwa from United States
So much gratitude for all that Neil and his guests offer to all of us wanting to better our relationships and in that our lives!!
I feel like my relationships have done a 180 and in large part to the many helpful and vulnerable sharings on this show.
I have read many books from many of the guest on this podcast. Highly suggest it. I found out a lot more about myself in that. And was able to find healing in surprising places.
I have found Neil’s personal life sharings an incredibly helpful tool. A feeling of not alone, a hopefulness to change and in that, know myself better. I have been inspired to meet my fear in honest relationship, even if it causes me pain.
Thank you Neil, thank you for for being vulnerable, growing and sharing your journey ☺️
July 29, 2019 by lolkjt92 from United States
This is my first time listening to this podcast. I was activity searching for something like this in efforts to have a healthy, intimate, real relationship and this gem happened to pop up! I have to say Neil really does have such amazing content on here. I am sooooo grateful for this podcast, it has helped me immensely with communication with my partner and I have to give this podcast credit for helping me pave such a respectful path for my new relationship. I am spreading the word and I am excited to keep learning and growing! Thank you Neil! I recently downloaded the free guide for secret tips on communication and I am soo eager to read it!
My partner and I are using many of the tools I learned here. If you have a chance listen to relationship Alive! You won’t regret it 🧡
Love it! But.
July 8, 2019 by Akmommaof2 from United States
I love almost all of the podcasts!! My only complaint is when he switched to putting his adds in the middle of everything after you’re engaged, tends to throw me off! Not sure about everyone else?